His Chance at Redemption
by LexiiDeeSpark
Summary: Adelaide Stone is the COMC Professor when Severus Snape kills Albus Dumbledore. In the previous years they had begun to form a unique friendship with a high probability of something more. After he commits this heinous act, can a surprising and seemingly foolish Ministry Order bring them back together? Adelaide POV. Rated M for later chapters.
1. The Beginning

**Authors Note:**

**Hello everyone! This is my first ever Fanfic, so if you could leave a review that would be lovely! Constructive criticism is always welcome, but please try and be nice :)**

**I do not own any of the characters except for Adelaide, all rights go to J.K Rowling.**

**Happy Reading!**

*****

_The courtyard was silent. I watched as Harry Potter, the famed 'Boy Who Lived", approached the bottom of the Astronomy tower where a crumpled Albus Dumbledore lay. Rumor had it some Death Eaters had penetrated the castles defences with the help of Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape, the latter killing the great Headmaster. Professor McGonagall slowly raised her lit wand in the air as tribute, everyone else following suit. The light diminished the Dark Mark in the clouds, the only light we would find on that dark and stormy night._

It had been 3 months since Professor Dumbledore was murdered. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had officially taken over in the summer, carefully placing his Death Eaters in the highest of ranks around the country, including Minister for Magic. The most shocking and slightly repulsive placement was that of Severus Snape as Headmaster of Hogwarts. I watched as the first years were marched into the school military style, my heart sinking as I remembered the magic of my first time seeing Hogwarts. With the school surrounded by Dementors and run by Death Eaters, this was surely not the same place I had come to recognize as a second home. Thankfully they hadn't completely revamped the staff, the only new additions being Alecto Carrow for Muggle Studies and her brother Amycus Carrow for Defence Against The Dark Arts. They seemed to make a nasty pair. I was grateful to keep my position as the Care of Magical Creatures post, I being appointed when Hagrid had his incident with Buckbeak, then kept on as a joint Professor with him. I zoned back to reality when a round of applause rose for the first Slytherin student to be sorted. Despite only receiving applause from Slytherin itself and a handful of staff, it was the loudest, though I did note that Professor McGonagall, who sat next to me, still clapped loudly for the other three houses, a defiant look on her face. There were many reasons she was my favorite teacher in school and current peer, and this act would be added to them. The feast was quieter than usual as we anxiously awaited the new Headmasters address, wondering what he had to say on behalf of the "Dark Lord's" new regime. When he finally stood, the Hall was silent save for cheers from the Slytherin table. I tucked my long brown hair behind my ear as I watched him glide up to the podium, bare of its usual owl and candle decorations.

"Good Evening students. You are probably well aware of the Dementors surrounding the school. They have been placed here for your protection...however... any fooling around with them will cost you your life… or most of it. You will not be assisted should you be found tampering with their security."

His words were clipped and cold, colder even than his usual Professor facade. I felt an odd ache in my heart and took a defiant breath, attempting to squash it.

"Additionally, we have two new Professors starting with us this term, and you will show them the utmost respect. Hogwarts was originally a fine establishment, but has...fallen from it's graces over the years. The goal is to return it to its original glory, and we will teach only those deemed worthy of the Magical Arts. It is up to you to define who that may be."

No it wasn't. According to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, only Purebloods were worthy of Magic, with the occasional Half-blood seen as acceptable. This fancy speech was to cover that eventually, only Purebloods would be taught at Hogwarts, the way Salazar Slytherin (whom Lord Voldemort was rumored to be related to) intended. How disgusting.

"Lastly, every student of age and Pureblood status is to stay in the Great Hall for an additional announcement. This will also include Professors Stone, Sinistra, and Vector. Heads of House, you may take your Houses to their common rooms."

My stomach dropped as I stayed rooted to my seat. Nearly all of the Slytherin 7th years stayed seated, half of the Gryffindors, about five Ravenclaws, and two Hufflepuffs. I looked over and noticed Amycus eyeing me, licking his lips. I straightened my shoulders and stared at Severus, wanting to get this over with. The side doors at the front of the hall burst open, the line of Death Eaters, men and women alike, standing beside him. My body went cold, wondering what this could possibly be… a recruitment perhaps? Myself and Professors Vector and Sinistra were shuffled to the front of the house tables, each of us taking a seat at a seperate one, leaving Slytherin to themselves. Severus held his hands up to silence the chatter.

"It has come to the Ministry's that many students upon graduating will find partners within the first two years afterwards. The Dark Lord wishes to keep magic, in its purest form, alive for as long as possible. He has ordered that all wizards and witches of age at Hogwarts, and consequently all non-married teachers capable of carrying the next generation must marry another pureblood to ensure the continuation of the blood status. In the next month, the Ministry of Magic will match you with a partner and you will be married before Christmas time. You may be matched with another student, or with someone standing beside me. You will have your letters before the month is out."

It was like the world fell out from underneath us all over again. Matched with a Death Eater? Forced to marry before the school year was even out? The whole idea was ridiculous, but no one dared to speak against it as we looked into the snarling faces of some of the worst humans you could come across. Even some of the Slytherins looked nervous. Suddenly Pansy Parkinson's voice rang out against the bare walls.

"But who'd want to be stuck with a Hufflepuff? Nobody needs those kinds of leftovers."

Jarring laughter rang out amongst the Slytherins and Death Eaters, the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws looking sheepishly over at the two students who hung their head. I had chosen to sit with them, being a Hufflepuff myself, and felt a wave of anger wash over me. I scoot in front of them, straightening my back so as to somewhat shield them from prying eyes. I noticed that Vector and Sinistra did the same.

"And a Hufflepuff Professor? Even worse!!"

The shrill cackles of students and Death Eaters rang out once more as Amycus stepped forward.

"I'll take a crack at her."

More sneering and laughter. I refused to look at him, fear coursing through me at the prospect of being his wife. He didn't exactly seem to be the gentle type. Severus quieted everyone down and excused us, some of the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws coming to walk the Hufflepuffs out. It was a small comfort in the shock than ran through us all. The Slytherins chattered excitedly amongst themselves, making their wishes about not mingling with the rest of the students known. I barely registered walking back to my private rooms, mumbling the password and flopping down on my bed. I began to sob as the realization that Hogwarts was no longer home.

Nearly a month had passed, the school filled with fear and anxiety. The Carrows were not shy when it came to physical and magical punishment, and had even thrown a few hexes in the way of the other Professors. The Dementors were supposed to stay on the outskirts of the school, but had been found multiple times on the grounds. A handful of students had already been paired off, mostly the Slytherins. I had noticed that the Slytherin students so far had only been paired off with each other, while the other houses were paired off with Death Eaters. Probably to keep them in line. My stomach again clenched at the thought of being with Amycus. He always stood too close, paid too much attention to me. Why he was so interested in me I couldn't know definitely, but I was sure he liked the idea of dominating a Hufflepuff. He was, after all, proven to be a sadist. His sister Alecto had been paired with a Ravenclaw boy, and ever since the hasty wedding he was seen daily with bruises and cuts. After only a week he seemed defeated. Professor McGonagall, ever the champion for her students, had gone to Severus himself and questioned the practise, vocalising her displeasure and disapproval. It had earned her the Cruciatus Curse from Alecto and the removal as Head of Gryffindor House. She limped into Transfiguration class a few days later, a few students daring to clap their hands. While she silenced them immediately, she gave a small smile as a way of thanks. I was in the library checking out a book for one of my third year classes when an owl tapped on the window, a letter with the Ministry emblem blaring on the front. I felt my body run cold as I moved to the far corner of the library, sitting in a corner window seat overlooking the lake. Apparently my entire future lay in my hands, and I had no idea what to do with it. I prayed over and over that it would not open to reveal Amycus Carrow's name. The best I could hope for was a Death Eater that was rather uninterested in me, and would ignore me for the most part. My hands trembled as I slowly opened the letter, unaware that I was being watched. I pulled out the parchment and unfolded it, my heart stopping for a brief moment as I read the text.

_Congratulations Professor Adelaide Stone! You have the honor and privilege with being paired with one of the greatest Headmasters of Hogwarts, Professor Severus Snape. The Minister will arrive at Hogwarts on Saturday, the 3rd of October at 2:00 in the afternoon to witness the joyous union that will ensure the purest of blood statuses will reign._

_Regards,_

_Pius Thicknesse_

_MOM, Order of Merlin 2nd Class_

I couldn't believe it. I read and re-read the letter several times before placing it on the seat and looking out towards the lake. I had never even considered that Severus would be forced to marry as well, it certainly was never eluded at. I felt a great sense of relief that it was not Amycus, but was nonetheless disturbed that I should be married off to Severus Snape. In the last few years we had come to form a friendship and a mutual trust in each other that was rarely extended towards anyone else. At one point, we very much enjoyed each other's company and there had been a sliver of a possibility of us becoming something more... then the Astronomy Tower happened. I took a deep breath to try and steady myself, jumping at the sudden movement to my left. It was none other than Severus himself.

"Do you not have a class you should be tending to?"

I simply held up the letter, causing him to pause and the suspicion in his features to deflate.

"Did you know?"

He shook his head, and pulled out a letter of his own from under his cloak.

"I received the news early this morning. Perhaps your owl got lost."

"Perhaps."

We held each other's gaze for a moment. Against the reflection of light on the window, I picked up the dark chocolate hues in his eyes. I remembered the first time I realized that they were not actually black, as I had previously thought for years; it was a pleasant discovery that somehow made me like him even more. He adjusted his robe cuffs and the movement brought me back to the current time. The expression on his face was, as usual, unreadable.

"It would be in the best interest of us both if you were to keep this between us until the wedding."

"Why?"

"Amycus."

I inhaled sharply. Surely he wouldn't be that angry?

"Why is he so interested in me?"

"Do not ask questions you do not want answers to."

I lowered my head and twisted my hands. Severus took a step towards me, looking as though he was going to reach out to me but caught himself at the last moment. It reminded me of the time we were in the Forbidden Forest a few years ago, looking for signs of a rogue Doxy that had been attacking students. It had become rather late and Severus was starting to get a little bored. I offered to let him go to bed and I would keep looking, but he insisted on staying with me, much like he had insisted on coming with me in the first place. I had teased him about being protective, which had earned me a small smile. When we had finally captured the Doxy and sent it to the M.O.M, we sat on a large tree root by the lake, the moonlight reflecting off the glassy water; my hand was laid beside me, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed he moved his hand closer, almost as if he was going to place it atop mine. A sudden splash of water on his lap from a Grindylow caused him to jump and I to burst in a fit of giggles. Surprisingly, he laughed as well. As I recalled this event something else was nagging at me, almost like an oncoming headache. I recognized it immediately and saw a slight shock on Severus' face when I blocked it out.

"My Mother was a skilled Occlumens, and has taught me since I was a child. You'll have no luck there Severus."

He raised his eyebrow, his expression again unreadable. He turned and with a swish of black robes was gone. This was it. No matter how I felt about the situation, I was to become Severus Snape's wife.


	2. The Wedding

October 2nd. My wedding day. How funny to say that out loud. Pomona and Septima had been kind and purchased me a modest lavender dress, insisting I at least look the part even if I didn't feel it. They pinned my hair with daisies but I felt… foolish, despite every other girl also wearing a dress on their day. Even Pansy Parkinson (who had the pleasure of being selected for Amycus) wore a black dress. They walked with me to the entrance of the Great Hall, where they were not permitted access during the wedding ceremonies. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open, looking immediately at the front of the hall where Pius Thicknesse, a couple of Ministry hands, Minerva, and my soon-to-be husband, Severus stood. He was dressed in his longer, slightly more dressy black robes, his hands clasped in front of him. I thought perhaps I detected some nerves in him, but I couldn't be sure due to the state of my own. We were a stark contrast, him and I, in both dress and manner. Although a mere six months ago I had felt a bud of romance blossoming for him, now I couldn't help but feel what an ill-fated match we were.

"Ah! Miss Stone! You look lovely!"

The Minister greeted me with a handshake, I smiling and nodding as a thank you, feeling the tension grow. He stood in front of Severus and I, instructing us to join hands and "be joyous in our union." Severus gently, almost hesitantly, took my hands in his. They were warmer and softer than I imagined them to be, and I felt a blasted flutter in my chest. I tried my hardest to push it away and ignore the reaction; surely this was not the same man I had come to know. The ceremony was a blur, spewing out the usual vows and "I do's". Minerva stepped forward with the rings, her face paler than usual but holding a stoic expression. We slipped the rings on each other, an odd sensation, and it almost felt like an out of body experience when Minister Thicknesse announced, "I now pronounce you, man and wife." Severus slowly turned to face me, my heart beating so fast I thought it might burst out of my chest. He leaned down, I instinctively closing my eyes in response. I felt his lips press against mine, again a pleasant experience. I heard clapping, and kept my eyes closed for a moment longer after Severus pulled away. When I opened them, he was looking right at me. Dark brown met bright blue, and for a moment I wished I knew what he was thinking. We turned back to the Minister, who congratulated us both. Drinks were passed around, a "celebration" of sorts.

"To the happily wedded couple!"

Neither of us had smiled once since the reception began. I drank the bubbly liquid, the ring on my left finger feeling foreign. It was a plain gold band that matched Severus', who's hand also looked odd with the shiny object on. Minerva placed her hand on the small of my back, leading me away from the crowd.

"Are you alright dear?"

I nodded my head and leaned into her slightly. My… husband... was off talking to the Minister. I wanted to leave, curl up in my bed, and never emerge again. The Minister and Severus walked over, the former laughing at some inside joke. He placed his hand on my shoulder, and it took all I had not to recoil.

"I would like to personally congratulate you Mrs. Snape."

_Mrs. Snape. _

"We will be eagerly awaiting the news of your first child, as it will be a joyous occasion of continuing the pure bloodlines."

Snape choked on his drink, and my eyes went wider than tea saucers.

"Ch… child?"

"Well yes, the whole point of this is to continue bloodlines… that is the purpose of children, no?"

I couldn't say anything. Minerva suggested I should go rest, it had been a long day and I still needed to pack. The word barely registered until we reached my rooms, and I noticed most of my things were missing. Then it clicked.

"I'm meant to live with him even during the school year?"

"Yes. You are… husband and wife now, and must act accordingly."

"According to the Ministry?"

Minerval lowered her head, a certain sadness surrounding her. She looked… more worn than I'd ever seen her. I reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear which earned me a small smile.

"You do look beautiful."

"Thank you Minerva. For everything."

She helped me pack up the rest of my items, then waved her wand and sent them to his… our rooms, leaving me to change and "take a moment for myself". I sighed and willed everything in me not to cry. I had been on such an edge for the past month my entire body felt like it was going to explode. I sat on my bed, wondering what sharing one would feel like… wondering what he would feel like. I jumped slightly when a tapping sound came from the window. It was a Grey owl with a note tied to his leg. I pushed the heavy pane open and stroked the owl before untying the message from his leg, making sure to feed him some treats as a thank you. When he flew off I opened the note.

_The password to the Headmasters Office is "Jelly Slugs". I will see you tonight. Severus _

It almost sounded ominous, and I just wanted to reject everything that was happening today. I decided to head to my new rooms, wanting to have some time to set things up before bed. As I made my way up the stairs, I bumped into Pansy Parkinson, who appeared to be crying. I noticed her cheek was bruised and cut, and she looked to be holding her ribcage painfully.

"Miss Parkinson… what happened?"

"Nothing for you to worry about Professor. And it's Mrs. Carrow now."

I felt my heart clench at that last sentence. Although she was known to be one of the crueler Slytherins, she was still just a child.

"Alright then Mrs.Carrow, you're hurt. At least let me take you to the Hospital Wing and have Madam Pomfrey look at you."

"I… I can't go to the Hospital Wing. He'll know I've gone."

Her voice grew smaller at the end and she looked away. I understood immediately. Amycus had beaten her for whatever reason, and had clearly indicated she was not to seek help. Despite my dislike for the girl, nobody deserved that, especially not a seventeen year old. I figured she would be safe with him considering she shared the same views, but the awful man apparently had no boundaries. I leaned down in front of her.

"Can you walk?"

"Barely."

She refused to look at me. I told her to stay where she was and quietly made my way to the Hospital Wing, which was thankfully only a floor up. I snuck in past Madam Pomfrey, who had fallen asleep at her desk. With all the "punishments" going around, the poor woman was three times as busy. I quietly accio'd some medical supplies from the cupboard, then slipped down to the staircase. In all honesty, I was surprised to see Pansy still sitting there. I applied a scar cream to her cheek and made her drink some Skele-Grow and an anti-bruise potion.

"The Skele-Grow will hurt terribly, so I suggest finding a quiet place for the night while your ribs heal. You should be almost 100% by the morning."

Pansy simply shook her head and slowly stood up. She was wobbly, like a newborn deer. I offered to help her back to her room, but was quickly shut down. She shot me a half smile (probably her way of thanking me), and started to limp away.

"Pansy…"

"I need to get back Professor."

"I know. But if you need help again, come find me okay?"

Her expression softened, and she nodded slowly. I watched her until she turned a corner, my heart hurting for her. I sighed and started along my path again, coming to a halt in front of a large Griffin statue. I felt a shiver down my spine as I stepped forward. "Jelly Slugs." The Griffin jumped to the side and a winding staircase began spiraling upwards. I stepped on, feeling my stomach clench as I rose higher. I had only been in the Headmaster's office a total of three times, all of them being during my teaching years. Eventually the staircase stopped in front of a black wood door; I knocked, the door swinging open of its own accord.

"There is no need for you to knock on your own door."

His low, smooth voice came from across the room. There was minimal light, save the lamp on his desk. He didn't bother to look up at me as I approached him.

"I'll have to get used to that. Where do I go from here?"

"Up the stairs, first door on the right. I've cleared out a side of the closet for you."

"Thank you. I'll probably just put my clothes away tonight then sort the rest in the morning, if that's alright?"

"That will be fine. Goodnight Adelaide."

"Goodnight Severus."

I headed upstairs, relief filling my body as I entered the bedroom. I took a moment to look around the room, first being drawn to the thick black curtains billowing against the large open window on my left. There were a few oil lamps on the stone walls, and a large wooden trunk at the end of the queen sized four poster bed in front of me. Sheer black drapes hung from the rods, encasing the serpent green sheets and pillowcases. A bookshelf that had clearly been half-emptied stood near the door on my right, and there were two matching wood end tables on either side of the bed. The most curious object in the room was a small white lily on his nightstand. He had never seemed like much of a nursery keeper to me. I felt my heart lift a little at the sight of the lily in such strange surroundings. It was… normal. Comforting. After I finished hanging my clothes in the closet I decided to put my nightgown on and climb under the covers. I lay down and stared at the lily for a while, trying to hold on to the sense of peace it gave me. Eventually I drifted off into a light sleep, tossing and turning for what felt like hours. A dip in the bed roused me, I turned to see Severus sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in nothing but black briefs. His pale skin shone in the moonlight, thin white scars raised all over his back. I had an odd urge to touch them, but knew it was too intimate a gesture.

"I thought you were sleeping."

"I think I was. Maybe."

"You'll get used to it. You can… add things if it will make you feel more settled."

"I'm sure a few personal touches will be just fine."

I sat up, feeling a little light headed from exhaustion. It was quiet for a few minutes, neither of us sure what to do or say. I blushed as I realized the state of undress we were both in, but I couldn't help to admire the surprisingly toned figure. I never would have assumed that's what he was hiding under all those robes.

"Have you ever been with a man before?"

The question startled me. He was still facing away from me.

"Yes. I was in a brief relationship while taking my scholar classes. Since you asked, are children the means to an end? The ultimate goal to all of this?"

"I would assume so yes. The Dark Lord can be mysterious in his plans at times."

My stomach clenched at the use of "Dark Lord". I looked over at his forearm and the edge of his Dark Mark popped against his white flesh. There were times I could look at him and still see Severus Snape, a crotchety and sometimes unpleasant, but trustworthy man. Someone I considered a friend. A leader in the school, Dumbledore's supposed right hand man. Now he was his murderer. I was meant to lie with a Death Eater, make a child with someone who held completely opposing beliefs. Consequently, my child would be groomed with those same beliefs… I could hardly stand it.

"I wish I knew what you were thinking."

"You'll be given no access of my free will."

He clenched his fist, and I feared I had stepped over a line. Would he force me into something? Would he beat me, like Amycus beat Pansy, if I didn't give him what he wanted when he wanted it?

"You will not be forced to do anything you do not wish to do… not by me anyways. Let's get some sleep. It's nearly morning."

He crawled under the covers beside me, turning away from me. I sighed and slid back down, looking out the window to the moon. At some point, I finally fell asleep.

_Severus and I raced through the halls towards the Hospital Wing. Professor Dumbledore had sent out an alert that a student, Ron Weasley to be exact, had potentially been poisoned. We pushed through the large oak doors, greeted with the sight of Professors Dumbledore, Slughorn, McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey , Harry Potter, and Hermione Granger all around a bed with a sleeping Ron Weasley. Hermione was holding Ron's hand, a sight that warmed my heart immensely. I always thought they would make a well-suited pair. Professor Slughorn and Harry described what happened, while Dumbledore handed the bottle of wine laced with poison over to Severus, who gave it a quick sniff. I could see him wracking his brain as to what it might be, and seemed rather surprised that Harry had used a bezoar to save his friend. Suddenly we heard running and a frantic voice from behind us._

_"Where is he?! Where is my Won-Won? Has he been asking for me?"_

_Lavender Brown, Ron's current girlfriend, rushed to the edge of the bed and gripped his ankle rather tightly. We all remained silent as her eyes met Hermione's and she stiffened, Hermione sitting back from Ron. They had a bit of a spar, both clearly defensive of their position with the boy. I could see Severus' expression of mild disgust and fought not to laugh, biting the inside of my cheek and lowering my head. Ron muttering "Er...my...knee…" ended the spat and caused Lavender to run out sobbing._

_"Oh to be young, and to feel love's keen sting."_

_Dumbledore always had the perfect quips. Hermione sat back down facing Ron, taking his hand in hers._

_"Well, come away, everyone. Mr. Weasley is well tended to."_

_We left as a group then split up, heading our own separate ways. Severus stayed beside me and walked with me for awhile, both of us comfortable with the silence._

_"What was it you found so amusing back there?"_

_"Well, the sparring was rather funny but I think "Won-Won" took the cake."_

_I giggled, Severus flashing a quick smile as we turned down the hallway. "_

_Are you implying you would rather not be given a "cutesy" nickname? "_

_Are you implying you would like to? If that's the case I can certainly start referring to you as "Sevey-Wevey."_

_"Do so and you may not see the light of tomorrow."_

_I laughed, Severus and I having a strong enough friendship for me to recognize this as banter, not a real threat._

_"Speaking of love, I've been working on an Amortentia potion and was wondering if I could get your assistance."_

_I raised my eyebrow at him, a teasing look coming to my face._

_"Feeling like seducing someone are we?"_

_"Would you be jealous if I was?"_

_"Maybe. Would that bother you?"_

_"Quite the opposite actually. I wouldn't mind seeing you go a little green."_

_I shot him a mock glare and proceeded to pout, he smirking in response. His reactions always amazed me, as I knew no one would ever believe that Severus Snape smiled, much less at someone pouting at him._

_"So, just out of, y'know, pure curiosity… who are you brewing this for?"_

_"No need to fear, I have to procure certain potions to the Ministry annually to keep my Potions Master status. They haven't asked for Amorentia in nearly a decade and as shocking as it may seem it is not one I make frequently. I could use a second pair of eyes."_

_"Well why would you need a love potion when you're such a natural enchantress?_

_This time it was his turn to glare. He simply turned and walked away, I following behind him to the dungeons. Though he was now the Dark Arts teacher he still had full access to the Potions lab, freely given by Slughorn (whom I suspected was rather afraid of Severus). We spent some time working around each other, Severus taking the lead until the potion turned a brilliant pink._

_"I'd say that looks rather good. Do we have to drink it to test if it worked?" "Fortunately with Amortentia you have no need to taste it. If you can smell what attracts you then it has worked."_

_"What do you smell?"_

_His eyes darted over to me, and I was rather shocked to see a tinge of pink on his cheeks. I realized my error and cleared my throat._

_"My apologies, that was a rather personal question."_

_He looked over at the bubbling pink liquid and gave a small inhale, then turned back to me._

_"Lillies and honey."_

_I was quite surprised that he had answered, and at how sweet his answer was. Something in the back of my mind hoped that the honey was for my shampoo that he had commented on a few weeks ago, saying he rather enjoyed the scent. I slowly stepped forward and gave a gentle sniff, returning the trusting gesture._

_"I smell fresh laundry, the ocean, and…"_

_At this I faltered. It had suddenly changed to a deep musky scent, one I was well acquainted with. It was the cologne Severus wore. I knew at this point I was attracted to him, and I could tell he felt well the same...but this was something visceral, almost tangible. I couldn't deny it._

_"And?"_

_He looked at me with curious eyes, waiting for what caused me to stumble._

_"It's, um, a musky smell. Cologne, I think."_

_I knew he had seen right through me when his expression softened. The air in the room seemed to shift as he stepped towards me. I thought for sure he was going to reach out to me, wrap me in his arms…._

My eyes fluttered open against the soft morning light that spilled over me. I looked over to see Severus still asleep, some of his hair strewn in his face, soft snores filling the otherwise silent room. I sighed and looked up at the roof, recalling my "dream". Because I was a Legillimens, sometimes my dreams were simply recalling past events in perfect detail, almost as though I was pulling memories and viewing them in a pensieve. This particular memory was from the previous year, a few months before Severus had killed Dumbledore. Apparently Draco Malfoy had been ordered to kill the Headmaster, and had tried a variety of ways including poisoning the wine that Slughorn unknowingly gave Ron Weasley. I closed my eyes and recalled the rest of the memory. Severus had indeed placed his arm around me and pulled me closer, my senses completely filled with the musk. Just when I thought something was going to happen, he had suddenly pulled back and vacated the room, disappearing in a matter of moments. I was stunned and a little hurt at the clear rejection, especially since he was the one to make the first move. Had I scared him off? I figured something had gone wrong since he kept his distance from me after that, no longer entertaining private chats or even basic eye contact most of the time. It wasn't that long after the night of Albus Dumbledore's death occurred, and suddenly I was thankful he had run off, though it caused me to question our entire friendship. I lolled my head to the side and simply stared at the sleeping man next to me, wishing I could reach out to him. He had seemed to let so many barriers down around me as we slowly got to know each other over the years I had been teaching. How strange and painful it was that we were in our current position, traditionally married yet hesitant to accept our feelings due to everything that had transpired since last June. I rolled over and shut my eyes again, desperately attempting to sleep as it was the only time I found peace these days. Little did I know, Severus was dreaming of the same night, similar feelings running through him when he woke a little later. What a complicated pair we were.


	3. Amycus

We kept a similar schedule for the next few weeks, returning to our rooms after dinner, I usually grading homework assignments and Severus working on Ministry things. I'd be in bed for 10, and he would join me hours later. We made small talk every now and then, never digging deeper than how our day was or what our week looked like. It was an odd sort of relationship, neither of us knowing what lines lay where, and wanting to revert back to our previous comfort level but having no idea how. We didn't have to worry about the awkwardness of sharing meals as we always ate in the Great Hall, even on weekends. Oddly enough, we hadn't consummated our marriage yet. Neither of us had ever brought it up save that first night, and although I had thought to ask him about it, I decided against it as I would rather put it off as long as I could. Halloween was fast approaching, and though this was the favorite holiday of the Wizarding world, the castle halls were dark and somber instead of lit with the usual pumpkins and candles. I could tell many of the students missed the excitement of the holidays, so called a small meeting with Professors Sprout, Flitwick, McGonagall, and Madam Hooch, saying we should try to throw a small, supervised celebration for the students in the Great Hall. While they all liked the idea, they were still uneasy about the students suffering a punishment.

"Perhaps we should see if Severus would agree to the idea first."

While it was Madam Hooch's suggestion, they all turned to look at me, the safest choice of person to ask him. I nodded, knowing they were right, feeling a heavy sinking feeling in my heart. As I made my way back to my rooms I found my pathway blocked. Amycus stood in an archway, a lilting half smile across his face. I felt my stomach clench and merely kept walking, not wanting to show any signs of fear. I made no eye contact as I approached the archway.

"Good evening Mrs. Snape."

His lilting Scottish drawl made my palms clammy.

"Good evening Professor Carrow."

My voice held out, which I was eternally grateful for. I made to pass him when his arm shot out, stopping me in my tracks. I stiffened slightly, turning my head to meet his gaze.

"Can I help you with something Professor?"

He gave a low laugh and shifted slightly closer to me.

"I was cheated out of you you know. I was all set to bring you home when Severus stepped in and requested you. He stole you from me."

"Well I'm afraid you'll have to bring that up with him."

"Ah you see, you're a much easier target..."

My blood ran cold and I made to dart back when he grabbed my arm and twisted it behind me, shoving me onto the ground. I looked up try and escape when I felt a sharp spell hit my face, sending me flying back down as I hit my jaw on the stone floor. I felt dizzy, sick, and terrified as he pulled me up and pressed me into a wall, casting a charm to chain my wrists in place. I wanted to cry out, scream for help, but the pain in my skull was too much. I simply cried as I felt another blow to my ribs.

"You're going to love this deary, trust me…"

His breath was hot, a faint smell of sweat and firewhiskey emanating from him. I lolled my head to the side as I made one last attempt to free myself.

"Severus… please… help me…."

I had used reverse legilimency, hoping against all hope he heard me. As a fellow Occlumens we should be able to communicate via legilimency at far distances. Just as I saw him pull his arm back for a debilitating punch I heard a familiar deep voice bellow to my left.

"CRUCIO!"

Amycus was blasted back, his strangled screams echoing throughout the hallway. He writhed on the ground as Severus ran forward, a searing look of anger on his face. In that moment he was absolutely terrifying. He stopped briefly to release me from my bonds, catching me in his arm and holding me up, then cast another quick Crucio at Amycus, letting out a low growl as he did.

"Severus… please, get me out of here…"

I could feel the blood dripping out of my mouth and fought to remain conscious. Severus tightened his grip ever so slightly as his wand lowered, finally releasing Amycus from the torture.

"If you ever touch Adelaide again I will snap your neck with my bare hands. Do you understand?"

It was low and menacing, the threat clearly conveyed. I noted this was the first time he had addressed me by my first name outside of our private conversations. I clung to him when I suddenly felt the familiar and uncomfortable sensation of apparation. Seveus gently lay me down on a bed… our bed. I heard him call for Madam Pomfrey, then everything went black.

I woke two days later. My head pounded and I reached up, gingerly pressing my fingertips to my scalp. I felt a large crust of a scab on my jawline, my hip and ribs still feeling bruised. I swallowed thickly and went to sit up before I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, a low, deep voice coming from the darkness.

"Easy. Not too fast."

I looked to my right and saw Severus sitting on a chair beside the bed. He stood and placed his arm behind my shoulders to steady me, and I gripped his other bicep as he slowly lifted me. I briefly rested my head in the crook of his neck, forgetting for just a moment who he was. He brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear before gently setting me back on the headboard, placing a small pillow behind my neck. He lifted a cool cup of water to my lips and I drank greedily, my dry throat thankful for the cold liquid. After I finished he cast a warming spell on the blanket, noticing my slight shivers.

"You'll be putting Poppy out of a job soon."

I closed my eyes as the teasing remark slipped out, willing the pounding in my head to stop.

"She wanted to keep you in the hospital wing but I'd rather you be here. She's a little overrun and I wanted you… safe."

I looked over at him, his dark eyes boring into me.

"Thank you Severus. For saving me. For taking care of me."

"Well… you are my wife after all."

At that moment, all I could see was Severus. Not Severus Snape the Death Eater. Not Severus Snape the Professor. Not Severus Snape the Murderer. Just Severus. The man I had come to know as softer and kinder than he let on, one I enjoyed having debates with, a late night tea with conversation, and a wild Doxy hunting adventure. I could see the man I had almost began to love. He cleared his throat and shifted a little, unsure about my lack of response to his previous comment.

"I have your classes covered for the next week and Madam Pomfrey will be checking on you in the morning. Are you hungry at all?"

"A little."

He waved his wand, lighting the oil lamps and conjuring some tomato soup, my favorite. I wondered if he remembered it from previous conversations or if it was just a lucky chance.

"Are you able to eat on your own?"

I raised an eyebrow and smirked at him.

"Severus Snape, are you implying if I can't you're going to spoon feed me?"

He gave a low chuckle and placed the small table stand on my lap.

"Well if I must lower myself to that standard…"

I giggled and picked up the spoon, slurping extra loud to imply I was fine. He shook his head and sat back with a book, stealing glances at me every now and then as I ate. When I was finished he helped me lay back down and covered me with the blanket, placing a quick kiss on my forehead before heading out to the main office.For some reason I was a little put off at him leaving until Madam Pomfrey informed me that was the first time he had left the room since the attack.

"He's always been stubborn but this was ridiculous. He ate all his meals at your bedside while Alecto Carrow oversaw the Headmaster duties. He insisted on staying until you woke."

My heart softened and I felt the familiar battle inside myself, a constant war raging between who Severus was and how I saw him. Madam Pomfrey tended to my wounds and gave me a few potions, then wrapped me in the blanket. I drifted off for what felt like only a few moments before I felt a soft hand on my shoulder.

"Adelaide. You have someone here to see you."

My eyes fluttered open to meet Severus'. He stood above me, a stack of papers under his arm.

"Who is it?"

"Pansy Parki...er, Carrow. She said she has something for you, but I thought to check with you first. I can send her away if you like."

"No, Severus, it's okay. She can come in."

He helped me sit up and left the room, Pansy entering minutes later. I gave her a smile and motioned for her to sit on the chair that had been Severus' perch. Her eyes widened as she approached me, and it was only then I realized how battered I must have looked.

"Um, hi Professor, I, uh, heard what had happened, I mean, Professor Snape had a big speech about boundaries and such today and I...well, I thought this might help with your recovery."

She pulled a small blue vial of sleeping potion out from her robes, accompanied by a small yellow and black beta fish in a bowl.

"I know I have a hard time sleeping when my head hurts so sometimes I use this to help. And the fish has an extendable life charm on him so it's something nice for you to look at."

A wide grin broke out on my face as she placed the two items on the nightstand. I knew there was more to this girl than snide remarks and hierarchical fantasies.

"Pansy, this is lovely. Thank you so much."

She shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her feet, wringing her hands.

"You were nice to me when he beat me so I thought I'd return the favour."

My heart broke at the admission. I had been keeping a close eye on her for more signs of injury since I found her on the stairs, and although there was only the odd obvious bruise, I suspected he had other ways of torturing her. I reached out and wrapped my hand around one of hers.

"You had no need to, but I appreciate it immensely. How have you been?"

"I really should be getting back Professor. My husband's waiting."

I took a sharp intake of breath and felt anger rise in me once more.

"I understand. Professor Snape will escort you out. And Pansy… if he hurts you you come straight to me, okay?"

For the first time in a long time, Pansy Parkinson smiled.

"Thank you Professor."

Severus stepped into the room and cleared his throat, his Headmaster facade on in full force. Pansy hurried to his side, giving me a small wave before disappearing from my sight. I adjusted the fishbowl so it was centered on the night stand, took a swig of the sleeping potion, then settled back down. I didn't wake again till morning, when Severus gently shook me awake to take some medicines Madam Pomfrey had left. We had some soft banter and he summoned breakfast for me, refusing to eat in the Great Hall unless it was dinner time. We continued this routine for the next week until I felt well enough to continue with my classes. Minerva and Pomona had stopped in to see me, Minerva almost daily much to Severus' displeasure. He kept his remarks to himself though I could see them boiling behind his eyes. After every visit with someone I kissed his cheek to thank him for being so patient. These were his rooms as well after all. He seemed to accept it, occasionally offering a small smile in return. The night before I was set to go back to teaching we were sat in bed, each reading our own book when he turned to me.

"Are you sure you're alright to go back to work tomorrow? I can arrange for another week or two if you need."

"Thank you Severus but that won't be necessary. I'm going a little stir crazy and would love some fresh air outside these walls."

"Understandable. You will let me know if you need anything, right?"

He had such concern in his eyes my mind wandered to the first year I had begun to teach at Hogwarts. I was an understudy with Hagrid, who had asked professor Dumbledore if he could hire a second teacher to help care for the creachers and cover any classes he may need to miss while tending to his Grounds Keeper duties. After a rather nasty incident with a hypnotised hippogriff (courtesy of a jerk Ravenclaw student who was later expelled), he had held me close while leading me up to the Hospital Wing, the same deep concern etched on his face. I came back to the present and nodded my head, leaning over to place a gentle kiss on his cheek, both of us becoming used to the small action.

"Well... some of the other Professors and I were wondering if we could throw a small All Hallows Eve party for the students. They would be supervised in the Great Hall. We just figured they might enjoy some festivities. I was actually on my way to ask you before… Amycus."

I could see him tense at the name, then he looked at me and for a moment my heart dropped, the expressionless eyes having a glint of...something behind them. Could it be anger? Was I asking too much?

"That sounds fine, though they will need to be back in their common rooms by 9pm."

I felt relief and even a little joy wash over me at his response.

"Thank you. I'm going to get some sleep. Don't stay up too late, you have two meetings tomorrow."

"Thank you wife."

"You're welcome...husband."

I lay down and face away from him, catching a glimpse of his Dark Mark. My heart clenched as it normally did when I was reminded who exactly I was sharing a bed with. Though the Hallows Eve parties were a small win, it was just that… small. I decided to focus on my lessons tomorrow as a distraction from the constant battle between my head and my heart.

All Hallows Eve was upon us, the Great Hall finally bearing some decorations. We lit the candles and pumpkins, Professor Flitwick charming some bats to fly around the windows and swoop down among the tables, dropping various candies in the student's laps. The house elves cooked a delicious meal, and there was a pleasant chatter in the air. Some of the students were brave enough to dress up, bringing a smile to my face, which I had painted like a pumpkin. I stuck mostly with the first and second years to try and help them get in the spirit. The Fat Friar joined me after dinner and we actually ended up having quite a fun evening with some games and "tricks". When the clock hit 8:30 the Heads of House began to round the students up and lead them back to their common rooms, I staying behind to clear the Hall back to its normal state. I heard footsteps behind me and turned to meet the eyes of Severus.

"The students seemed to enjoy themselves. I'd say your All Hallows Eve was a success."

"Well it is the number one wizarding Holiday. Thank you for allowing it."

"I will admit I was hesitant. But it went so well I suppose a Christmas one wouldn't hurt either."

I smiled at him and raised my wand to start disapparating the pumpkins, Severus wordlessly moving to help. Within ten minutes we had everything down, then he turned to me and waved his wand in my direction, clearing my face of the bright orange paint.

"You're much prettier as a witch."

I blushed, giving him a light smack on his forearm, he linking his arm in mine to lead us out into the hallway. Oddly enough, it felt rather nice being so close to him.

A few weeks went by without a fuss, and I completely recovered from Amycus' attack. Both Severus and Poppy tried to erase the scar on my cheek, but since it had been caused by magic it wouldn't go away. I didn't mind. A first year Gryffindor said it made me look like a warrior princess, and I laughed, giving him a side hug as a way of thanks. We made it through the rest of November and most of December, Christmas holidays creeping upon the castle seemingly out of nowhere. There was usually an excited tension from the students about going home, but this year it seemed to increase tenfold, and had more of an anxious flair to it. Although Christmas was my favorite holiday, my heart felt heavy. Come December 20th I would be returning to my childhood home and Aunt Gorda. My parents had died when I was twelve, and my care (including all of my inherited funds) had been transferred to my Aunt as she was my only living relative. She was a vile, nasty old woman that I would never be sorry to see the back end of. Unfortunately since my funds could not legally be transferred to me until I was twenty-five, I was to remain in her debt (and home) until then. I had thought that I could remain in Hogwarts at least for the holidays when I had began teaching, but she used the funds to keep me coming back. Twisted bitch. I was sitting atop the Astronomy Tower, taking in the cool breeze and grounds filled with pure white snow when I heard footsteps behind me.

"I wondered if I might have a word with you?"

I turned to see Severus standing near the stairs. He wrapped his robe around him to keep out the cold and I stood, slowly walking closer to him.

"Of course."

"I thought perhaps you might join me for the holidays, instead of returning to your Aunt."

"You wish to spend Christmas with me?"

"Seeing as we are husband and wife it only seems appropriate that we do so."

"I'm… I'm not sure she would like that."

"If you're referring to the funds she keeps from you she no longer has access to them. Since you are married now the funds have been automatically transferred to you… or rather, us. I was thinking we could go to Gringotts to open you a new vault before returning so you have a safe space to keep your money."

It also shocked me that he wanted me to have my own vault with my own funds. How could a man this considerate and willing to let me be my own person possibly be a true Death Eater?

"I can't believe you remembered that."

"I have been known to pay attention. She no longer has a hold on you. You may return to her if you wish but you are more than welcome to join me."

"Would we stay here?"

"I have a house in Cokeworth. It is my… childhood home."

He looked vaguely uncomfortable, but it seemed a sincere request. As strange as things were, he was safer than my Aunt ever was, and I was secretly glad for the opportunity to be elsewhere.

"That sounds…lovely. I'll write to my Aunt this evening and let her know."

"I'll see you tonight then. Be careful up here."

With a swish of his cloak he was gone. I found myself rather curious to see what Severus' home would look like, and the town he was from. Even when I considered us friends he was always so locked up and secretive, never letting things slip out unless we were alone and under moonlight. He always seemed more comfortable during the nights. I chuckled as I remembered the rumor from my school days that muggleborns thought he was a "vampire"... until they learned what vampires really were. I sighed and rested my forehead against a metal bar, the cold seeping into my skin, taking a few breaths of fresh air before a bell toll signalled the end of the period. I quickly brushed the snow off of my robes before heading down the winding staircase to collect my next class.


	4. Christmas

Two weeks later lessons came to an end and I watched as students were marched down to the train, taking almost all of them home for the holidays. Those that remained would be under the supervision of Alecto Carrow, the Deputy Headmistress (A title that should have remained with Minerva). I felt sorry for those that would not be returning home, and hoped for their safety. Minerva and Rolanda decided to stay behind for the holidays to try and ensure just that.

"Are you ready?"

Severus stood in the middle of our sitting room, a black suitcase in his hand. I grabbed my own and walked over to him, gripping his arm and readying myself for the unpleasant squeezing sensation of apparation. Normally it wasn't allowed within the castle walls but apparently the Headmaster was always an exception. In about 5 seconds we plopped down in the front hallway of what I presumed was his house. It was dark and a little dingy, although impeccably clean. I knew there was a house elf somewhere, maintaining the place while Severus was at Hogwarts.

"I can give you a small tour and then we can get settled. Dinner should be around 6."

He led me through the house, which was not as grandeur as I'd imagined. In front of us lay a rickety looking wooden staircase, to the left a large dining room with a table seated for 6. A rickety chandelier and old glass cabinet filled with chipped Chinaware were the only other pieces in the room. Through the dining area was the living room, which was lined with books floor to ceiling on three of the four walls. Two large windows looked out to the street, letting in quite a bit of natural light. The one wall that wasn't pure books held a large brick fireplace with various knick knacks on the mantle and a large mirror above it. The walls were all a dark grey, the furniture forest green. I did also note there were no pictures to be found anywhere, which I thought rather curious. The themes remained the same upstairs as well, in the bathrooms and bedrooms. I placed my bag on the master bed, noticing it was slightly smaller than the one at the castle.

"Now that we are not under such careful scrutiny I can sleep in another room if you would like."

I looked up at him and was surprised that my immediate thought was no. I found myself in new surroundings yet again and he was the only thing that was familiar. I nearly hated myself for it, but I decided against it.

"I… well it might be weird to not share a room at this point don't you think?"

He smirked.

"Do you mean to say you've grown to like my presence, dear wife?"

I could tell by the small gleam in his eye that he was not being malicious, only lighthearted.

"Is it so wrong if I have?"

"To be perfectly honest, I was hoping you'd say no."

I tilted my head, then turned to unpack my bags, feeling slightly uncomfortable sparring with him. These were the moments that made me question everything I thought I knew about him, and I hated it. He placed his bag on the bed and removed his cloak, silently moving around each other as we settled into the room. We retired to the living room when we were done, he flipping through the Daily Prophet and I scouring through the large book collection. He had books from both the magical and muggle world, which I found rather odd. I chose not to question it and simply picked out an old favourite he happened to have. We ate dinner and went to bed early, both exhausted from the long day and looking forward to the holiday week ahead of us. It was sunny when I woke the next morning, though a little chilly, so I threw on a silk robe before padding downstairs. Severus was already dressed and drinking some coffee, various papers spread out on the table.

"Good morning Adelaide."

"Good morning Severus. It looks nice out so I was thinking of going for a walk about town. Would you like to join me?"

"I'll pass. I have some Ministry affairs to tend to and will be gone most of the day. I would prefer you stay in the house while I am gone."

"I… I suppose I could."

He looked up at me, noticing the slight drop in my voice. I sat across from him, Elsie, the house elf, bringing me a glass of water, a hot chocolate, and some toast. In the back of my mind I thought it was ridiculous that I needed to ask him permission, but didn't wish for any retaliation. Despite our past and the fact that he had never once lashed out at me, I still couldn't bring myself to fully trust him.

"Go out if you wish to, I don't want you feeling trapped. Just please be home before dark. Cokeworth can be a little… unseemly at night."

My heart lifted, a small smile coming to my face as his words sunk in. I began to feel as though I really did luck out.

"Thank you for the heads up. I'll be safe."

I finished my breakfast and stood to get ready for my day, Severus heading to the front door. He pulled it open, then turned to me and leaned down, kissing me on the lips. My eyes widened a little, as this was the first time we had kissed since our wedding day. He said nothing about it and simply apparated away. I held my fingers to my lips for a moment, not entirely disagreeing with him doing it. Once I finished getting ready I walked out onto the raggedy sidewalk, relishing in the warm sunlight hitting my face. Cokeworth was a slightly run down mill town, with rows of identical brick houses and a large plant just on the outskirts. There was a metallic tinge to the air, and the people seemed… drudgy. I stopped into a few book and thrift stores, eating lunch at a quaint coffee shop. It had the potential to be a rather cutesy town if one were to put some effort into it. The oil lamp streetlights and cobblestone streets gave an old London feel to the evening as I made my way home. I passed by a run-down karaoke bar, the sounds of laughter and amatuer singing so enticing I decided to pop in and check it out. My nostrils were immediately hit with the smell of lager and fried food, reminding me of the old pubs my Father used to sneak me into for some ice cream when I was younger. I sat at a table off to the side, ordered some house mead, and laughed along with the others at the silly performances. As I was heading back from the restroom a little later on, a young man performing "Waterloo" caught me by the arm and motioned for me to sing with him. I was normally shy, but considering this was the most fun I'd had in months, I grabbed a microphone and sang a few lines, dancing around with him. People clapped when we finished, and he insisted I sing something on my own. I tried to object, but cheers rang out from the crowd, growing louder as I leaned over the DJ booth to pick a song. I was eternally grateful in that moment that I had studied Muggle music in my post-secondary, settling on "Put Your Head On My Shoulder", it being one of my favorites. Inwardly I hoped the slower melody wouldn't bring the mood down. The first lines ran across the screen and I began singing, not noticing the dark haired man in robes standing by the door. People held up their lighters, swaying them back and forth, and a few couples began to slow dance in front of the stage. My confidence grew as more people seemed enthralled and I felt that small bubble of happiness I thought had disappeared forever. I was so lost in the magic of the moment, the music and lights and people, I nearly forgot how horrible the last seven months had been. I blocked the world outside those large wooden doors with every note I sang, and I smiled down at the cheery, drunken faces of strangers. As the song ended, I thought I caught a swish of a black cloak leaving the bar, giving a small start when I realized it was dark outside. I hurried back to my table to grab my things, giving a few high fives as I left. I was about to cross the street when the man from earlier grabbed my arm.

"Hey, where ya goin'? The night is still young, let me grab you a drink."

"Oh, thank you, but I must be getting home. We'll pick another song next time yea?"

"Oh c'mon…"

"I believe she told you no."

My heart dropped as Severus appeared from the shadows. He wrapped his arm around my waist and glared the man down.

"Uh, Severus this is… I'm so sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Ian. Ian Smith."

"Well it was a pleasure singing with you Ian. I'll see you around."

I gave a polite smile as Severus pulled me away. We walked in silence, him never loosening his hold on me. The night air grew a little more frigid and when I shivered he wrapped his cloak around my shoulders with his arm. It was comfortable enough, but I grew nervous. Had I upset him?

"You have a good voice."

I looked up at him, unsure if he'd actually said it.

"You heard me?"

"A little yes. You sing very well. I've heard you humming about the castle before but never like that."

"Thank you, that's very sweet."

"Are you hungry? I could have Elsie prepare something."

He was too calm.

"Severus… you're not upset with me are you? Because I stayed out so late? I swear I just lost track of time."

He slowed his walking a little and I heard a small sigh.

"You are a grown woman, and I am your husband, not your owner. You may do as you please while you are here, I only make suggestions for your safety. Cokeworth can be unpredictable after dark. I don't want you getting hurt again"

I felt my heart flutter a little and stepped closer to him. He didn't let go of me until we arrived home and I was sorry when he dropped his arm. We lit the lamps in the living room and settled on the couch, the exhaustion once again hitting us both. Elsie came around the corner with some hot tea and biscuits.

"Wills you and the Missus be needing supper sir?"

"I am alright Elsie, would you like anything Adelaide?"

"Perhaps just a sandwich please Elsie?"

She nodded and pittered away. I hated having a house elf as I thought it was inhumane, but Severus had made it quite clear that I was to agree with her employment before we arrived. We sipped our tea as I looked around the room.

"Christmas is a few days away. Perhaps we could get a tree?"

"I'm not much for celebrating."

"Just a small one, I could put it on the end table by the window. Nothing ridiculous."

Even though he had a slight grimace on his face he nodded his head. Elsie brought me back my food and he sat with me while I ate, filling me in on as much of his day as he could. I told him about the books I found and the cute coffee shop. Once we were finished our tea we headed upstairs, changing and climbing into bed. I had an odd urge to kiss him goodnight, but merely blamed it on the good day and how soft he was being, instead laying down to sleep.

The next day I woke to the smell of breakfast, putting my robe on before heading downstairs. Elsie was setting the table for me and I noticed Severus' briefcase was missing.

"Good Morning Elsie. Where is Severus?"

"Master had to leave early this mornin', but he left a notes for the Missus."

She handed me a folded piece of parchment and I sat down to eat, sipping my orange juice as I read.

_Adelaide,_

_I have business at the Ministry that may take me most of the day. Feel free to wander but please, be home before dark._

_Good luck with the Christmas tree._

_Severus_

I smiled a little, finishing off my breakfast and dressing for the day. I shuddered at the crisp wind and light snowfall, though feeling instantly warmed by the carolers downtown, the Christmas spirit finally hitting me. I bought a small fake tree, some decorations, and a few baking supplies for gingerbread men. I wanted to buy lights and decorations for the house, but knew that was probably going overboard. Severus never liked drawing attention to himself, and I couldn't see him climbing a ladder to put the lights up as we'd be restricted in our magic use outside. Even though I found the image amusing, I left with only my small treats and toddled home to start setting things up, inviting Elsie to help me. She seemed shocked but delighted at the idea and hesitantly helped me decorate the tree and bake gingerbread. The house smelled delicious, and I played some Christmas channels on the radio so we could prance around as we frosted the gingerbread men. It was nice to have a friendly companion, and I thanked Elsie up and down for her help and companionship. She blushed slightly, brushing off the compliments, clearly not used to them though thoroughly enjoying them. At quarter after ten I finally sat down with a glass of rum and eggnog, Gregor Hardwick's "Blue Christmas" playing in the background. I started to sing along, gently rocking to the music. I felt the familiar cloud of reverse legilimency as a low voice echoed in me.

_Would you like to dance with me?_

I looked around to see Severus standing in the doorway. He had taken his outer robe off and extended his hand. He looked so handsome in the firelight.

_Lead the way._

I placed my left hand in his and my right on his shoulder, his other hand slipping around my waist. We swayed and two stepped around the room, he being an excellent leader which I remembered from our Yule Ball dances. We held eye contact the entire time, not saying a word, just enjoying the music and each other. He pulled me closer so our bodies were flush, and again I had the sudden urge to kiss him. What was happening? My mind was tormented as I fought the feelings I thought had disappeared when the news hit he had killed Albus Dumbledore. Despite trying to recall how I felt that night, Hogwarts almost felt like a different lifetime, "Professor Snape" a ghost in the past. Here stood Severus, a tall, handsome man who was quieter than most, but strong, protective, and caring. My husband.

"You confuse me Severus."

He half smiled and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Good."

I shot him a mock glare and bit my lip to keep from smiling. At the end of the song he dipped me, then pulled me back into him. Despite what my body was screaming at me, I stepped back, detaching myself from him.

"It's late. We should sleep."

"As you wish."

He followed me up the stairs, and we began our individual night routines. When we climbed into bed, I faced the window and he faced me. Perhaps it was the romantic feeling of the night that caused me to turn around and pull his arm across my waist, placing my hand atop his. Without saying a word, he gently pulled me back into him. I was about to drift to sleep when he spoke in low tones.

"Was it really so easy for you to spend the holidays with me and not your Aunt?"

I sighed and absentmindedly stroked his hand with my thumb, finding comfort in the action.

"You're much more enjoyable company."

"That's a pretty big statement."

I turned in his arms to face him, and he stroked my back while I spoke.

"As you know my parents died when I was twelve, a "tragic accident" is how the Aurors labelled it. My Aunt Gorda was my only living relative, so she gained custody. She… well she wasn't thrilled to have her Hufflepuff niece become her responsibility."

"Does you being a Hufflepuff really matter to her that much?"

"Yes. According to my Mother that's one of the main reasons they finally fell out. I had seen Gorda only a handful of times growing up, and she was always unpleasant. Very snotty and rude, and had no issues putting down anyone that wasn't a white Pureblood; she was never quiet in her opinions. She is a Slytherin, and views that as the only valid house, so when I was sorted into Hufflepuff, she suggested my Mother and Father disown me."

"Your Mother and Father weren't Slytherins though? Aren't they both Gryffindors?"

"Yes but anything is better than Hufflepuff. She frequently refers to me as leftovers and useless. Thank god she isn't my only point of reference for self esteem."

"I'm guessing she hasn't lightened up over the years?"

"Merlin no. Hence why she's used my parents money to keep me as close to her as possible. I think she enjoys belittling me. When I wrote that I'd be spending the holidays with you, she said it would be good for a respectable Slytherin man to break me in. Honestly when she found out I was to be married, and to whom, I think that was the first time she seemed happy with me."

I noted as I spoke his grip tightened on me.

"You do not need "breaking in", whatever the hell that means."

"I'm glad you think so."

Our eyes met and he lowered his head, kissing me on the lips. At first it was just a peck, like the one from a few days prior, but this time he dipped back in for another, and another…

"Severus Snape, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Is it working?"

"Maybe a little…"

We kissed some more, his hand slipping down my body to my upper thigh. Our legs intertwined and I could… _feel him_… against me. He kissed my neck and I heard him rumble.

"I'm curious about you."

My body was screaming for him, and despite everything that had happened, I desperately wanted to give in. He kissed my neck and started to pull back, taking my hesitation as a rejection. I grabbed his bicep and looked into his eyes, making a decision to take a risk and see where things may lead.

"I'm your wife, Severus… you don't have to be."

We proceeded to have sex for the first time, slow and hesitant at first. We took our time with eachother, learning the do's and dont's, finding the sweetest spots that made us tingle. Nearly an hour later we flopped back on the bed, slightly sweaty and out of breath.

"Well, at least you know what you're doing."

He let out a short chuckle and pulled back slightly to kiss me, rising from the bed and taking my hand to lead us to the shower. We washed at the same time, though Severus kept his distance from me. I wondered if perhaps he hadn't enjoyed me as much as I thought he did, but when I reached for my nightgown he stopped me, leading me back to the bed and tucked our naked bodies under the covers. I put my worries to rest and lay my head on his chest, relishing in the feeling of his skin against mine.

I woke still tangled with him, my head on his bicep and his arm looped lazily around my waist. I felt content. Happy even. I listened to his slow breathing and held on to the moment for as long as I could, memorizing the way the early sunlight danced over his skin and how his dark hair fell in soft pieces over his face. I found myself wanting him again.

"What are you thinking?"

His voice was low, sleepy, and he kept his eyes closed. I gently kissed his collarbone and snuggled closer to him.

"Well, besides the fact that I wouldn't mind repeating last nights actions...I really don't want to go back to Hogwarts."

He opened his eyes and looked down at me. I knew he could sense why I was hesitant to leave, why I didn't want to return to those dark halls.

"Is it because it has changed from previous years?"

"Partly."

"What is the other part?"

He was digging and I knew it. I thought to keep it to myself but considering the compromising position our bodies were currently in I felt like risking a little more vulnerability.

"I don't like who you are when we're there. You've shown me two very different sides to you since He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named took over and I have to admit, I much prefer the Severus lying with me right now then Headmaster Snape."

"Why don't you just view me as Severus then?"

"I… I can't. I don't know if that's the real you."

"What if I told you that they are both the real me?"

"Then you are easily the most complicated person I've ever met."

He pulled away from me and sat on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his hair. I sat up, pulling the sheet with me as I waited for him to speak.

"I don't know if this comes as a surprise but before the Dark Lord took over, I had begun to develop feelings for you that surpassed the friendship we were forming. I'd come to look forward to your company, and the more time we spent together the more I… liked you. Those feelings have not changed, if anything they've grown since the marital arrangement. But this is who I am. I am a Death Eater. I am Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am your husband, and I am… falling in love with you. Do with that information what you will."

He rose from the bed, my heart beating wildly. Did Severus Snape just admit to falling in love with me? My head felt spinny and I stayed in bed as he quickly dressed himself. It was Christmas Eve, his last day of "work" before he would get a couple days off. I threw a robe on and came down the stairs just as he was heading out. He nodded as a means of goodbye as he opened the door, but I reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Severus wait."

I stood on my tip toes and kissed him, lingering a few moments longer than usual.

"Stay safe."

He nodded again, his expression softening as he squeezed my hand and apparated away. I felt my heart drop a little. If I was honest, I was falling for him too, and had been in the recent years. The real problem was, would I be able to separate the two sides of Severus, look past his dark nature to make things work? What if Harry Potter succeeded, destroyed Voldemort? What would happen to Severus then? I slumped on the couch and Elsie brought me some tea and toast.

"Does the Missus need help with anythings today?"

"I don't think so Elsie. Do you know if we have any sort of wrapping paper? I have a gift for Master Severus."

"Yes Missus, I'll gets it for you."

She pittered away and I pulled two small boxes out from underneath the side table. When she returned (with some tape as well, bless her heart), I turned on the radio to a Christmas station and started wrapping, later filling out some cards for my friends, even sending one in the way of my Aunt Gorda. The day passed slowly, and I found myself missing Severus and looking forward to him coming home. At some point I threw some clothes on and grabbed a book, falling asleep in the armchair. I woke to being carried up the stairs.

"How chivalrous of you Sev."

In my grogginess I didn't realize I had called him a nickname, one I would later find out held many memories and great pain for him. He merely held me tighter before lowering me on the bed. He meant to pull away but I reached out for him.

"Stay with me."

He unbuttoned and took off his shirt and pants, then slid on top of me and helped me undress. We stole kisses in between each article of clothing, and proceeded to have sex. It was more tender than the night before, now that we knew how the other worked. He pulled out before he finished, which was odd considering we were supposed to be "carrying on the bloodline".

"Aren't we supposed to be trying for children?"

"Yes, but I wasn't sure you'd want to be pregnant right away. You are only twenty five after all."

"So… we're sleeping together mostly for the fun of it?"

"Well I'm rather enjoying it so far… but if you would like to stop we can."

I stroked his shoulder and leaned in for a kiss.

"That's the last thing I want to do."

He smiled at me. A real smile, not the corner of the mouth ones I had become accustomed too. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, so I traced his lips gently with my fingertips.

"What are you doing?"

"Memorizing you."

He placed his arm around me and I curled into him. I honestly hadn't felt this secure since my parents died.

"Are you… happy with this arrangement? With me?"

I sighed, finding it both endearing and confusing that he would care.

"I'm… content. It's a process. It is definitely better than I imagined, and you have a way of making me feel safe despite everything that's happening. Also… I too had started to gain feelings for you prior to everything. But this is all an adjustment I had never considered making. Does that answer your question?"

"Mostly, yes."

He held me for a little longer, our breathing syncing up.

"What are you thinking?"

He ran his hand up and down my thigh, I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling.

"I'm thinking you're probably exhausted and should get some rest. You'll finally have a day to breathe tomorrow."

"Should we… do something? I suppose it is Christmas."

"I saw a poster for the Annual Christmas Festival they hold in town square. I know it's not really your style but perhaps we could check it out after breakfast?"

"Mmm. I haven't been since I was a child."

"I keep forgetting you grew up here. Maybe one day you'll tell me about it?"

He looked down at me and kissed my forehead, settling back and closing his eyes.

"One day."

I resolved to ask him about it later, choosing instead to simply curl into him and match my breathing to his. I could get used to this.

Christmas morning was bright, and I felt a little spirit sneak into me again. Elsie made us breakfast (pancakes in the shape of wreaths… I was delighted) and we head out to the Festival. It was a bit of a cooler day despite the sun, so we both wore our heavier cloaks, drawing odd looks from the muggles. We stopped at a few booths, I spotting a snow globe with a little village inside it. My heart skipped a beat at the familiarity and I approached the woman behind the table.

"How much?"

"Sorry ma'am, already sold."

"Oh, no worries."

I smiled at her and rejoined Severus, glancing once more at it before continuing down the rows. There was a skating rink, some horse drawn sleigh rides, and a hot chocolate station. Severus pulled out a five dollar bill and purchased two, handing me one. I raised my eyebrow.

"Muggle money?"

He simply shrugged his shoulders and held out his elbow for me to take.

"You never know when you might need it."

I giggled and took a sip, the creamy liquid adding to the joy I was feeling. We passed a few carolers, one of them being Ian Smith from the karaoke bar. He saw me and rushed forward, a large toothy grin on his face.

"Hey! So I realized after you left I didn't get your name!"

I felt Severus tense slightly and was realizing that I was definitely the more social of us two… or was a little jealousy/possessiveness sneaking through?

"My name is Adelaide Snape, I'm sure you'll remember my husband, Severus."

Ian held out his hand to Severus, who reluctantly took it.

"I'm part of the Cokeworth Choir and we're about to start a rendition of 'O Holy Night'. Honestly we could use some solid female vocals. Care to join?"

"I'd love to, but I think we have to keep moving…"

"We have time. Go, you'd make a nice addition."

I smiled at Severus, pleasantly surprised he agreed. Ian led me up to the stage and introduced me to a few other choir members, there being only seven in total.

"It's not much but it gives us something to look forward to. You may have noticed but Cokeworth is pretty janky."

"It's not that bad. It has a... quaint feeling to it."

He laughed and sat next to me, handing me a song leaflet.

"Yea, I guess you could look at it like that. So how come I've never seen you around here before? Did you and hubby just move here?"

"Actually we're just here for the holidays. Severus has a family home here and we thought it would be nice to spend time away from the school."

"School?"

I faltered for a moment, realizing my slip up. It felt so nice to talk to someone normal I forgot to put up the usual muggle boundaries.

"Yes we… both work at a boarding school. Privately owned."

"Ah a teacher! What subjects?"

I wracked my brain, trying to think of a muggle subject that was taught.

"I teach, uhm, mathematics, and Severus is the Headmaster."

"Headmaster? Sounds really fancy. How long have you two been together?"

"We just got married in October but we've known each other for years."

"Don't take this the wrong way but you seem a little...ah… mismatched."

I gave a short giggle, completely understanding what he was trying to say.

"I know Severus seems quite broody, but he really is very sweet to me."

"Well, that's the only thing that matters ain't it?"

Ian smiled and gave the cue for us to stand. I looked out and spotted Severus, who gave me a tiny wave. I returned it, then turned to Ian, who led the chorus. Despite the fact that I was indeed a witch, there was something almost magical about singing carols as the snow started to lightly fall around us. We sang three songs in total, wrapping up with the Festival. I found Severus, leaning into him slightly as we walked home, surrounded by lit up houses and trees.

"Thank you for staying with me. It was nice to sing again."

"I take it you haven't done much recently?"

"Not really, not since my parents died. And especially not in the past year."

Silence fell. We reached home and were bombarded with the smells of delicious food. Severus pulled me into him and covered my eyes.

"I have a bit of a surprise for you."

He carefully led me into the living room. When he lowered his hands I gasped. It had been decorated with lights, holly, garland, and my tiny tree on the table was now a large one in the corner, a glittering star atop it. Elsie greeted us with a glass of champagne and bowed out.

"This is… I don't have words. I thought you never decorated?"

"I asked Elsie to get it ready while we were out. It is Christmas after all and our… first one together. I thought you might enjoy something a little more put together."

He merely shrugged, looking around the room as though this was an everyday theme to the house. I felt my heart swell. There it was again, the kind, thoughtful man hidden in dark depths, though this was something I never would have expected from him. We clinked glasses as Elsie came back in the room with a cookie for each of us.

"Dinner will be ready in abouts forty minutes, is that enough time for the Missus to get ready?"

I looked up at Severus curiously.

"I thought we could dress up for the occasion. It's been awhile since I've personally had the chance."

"Me as well. I think the last time I really dressed up was the Yule Ball."

"Mmm, I remember it well. Green suits you."

I blushed a little at the memory of him asking me to dance. I had been sitting on one of the silver laden chairs, taking a quick drink before Igor Karkaroff asked me for yet another go round. I almost groaned when a hand appeared beside me, but was pleasantly surprised to see it belonged to Severus. He hadn't danced all night, instead tucking himself away in a corner with a glass half full of firewhiskey. He had seemed completely disinterested in the whole event up until now, so it caused quite a few whispers when he led me out onto the dance floor, my long emerald green dress swishing as he spun me around. That was the first time I had looked at him as someone other than a peer.

"Well I believe I have a green dress kicking around. I'll go get ready."

I flashed him a wink, earning me a chuckle. I brought my champagne with me, using my wand to curl my hair instead of doing it the old fashioned way, then changed out of my under things into an emerald green bra and matching lace underwear. If Severus was willing to decorate his house and take me to a Christmas festival, I figured could dress up a little for him. I slipped into a dark green velvet dress, one that hugged my curves nicely and had a slit up the side to my hip. The neckline dipped generously low and the sleeves were long. I slashed some dark red lipstick on and stepped into a pair of black strappy heels, giving myself a quick once over before Elsie appeared, telling me dinner was ready. I made my way downstairs, Severus greeting me in the dining area. My heart skipped a beat when I first saw him. He was in black dress shoes, black dress pants, and a white button down with a black vest over it.

"You look stunning Adelaide."

"Thank you. You look rather enticing yourself."

He smiled and leaned down to kiss me. He smelled of sandalwood and something musky. I felt my body tense in the most delicious way and arched into him.

"Now now, we need to keep certain things behind closed doors… poor Elsie would get the shock of her life."

I giggled and kissed him once more, finally pulling away and sitting down. He pushed my chair in and sat beside me. Elsie finished setting out the spread and we started to eat, mostly in silence. He kept stealing glances at me, not solely at my face… I kind of liked it. After dessert he suggested we open gifts, so we moved to the living room and sat on the couch, each holding a singular gift for the other. I pulled a second small box from the side shelf and called Elsie in. Severus narrowed his eyes for the smallest of moments, then put on his usual expressionless facade.

"Yous called Missus?"

"I did. Happy Christmas Elsie!"

I held out the small box and she squeaked in surprise. She looked nervously at Severus, and to the relief of us both he nodded. She hesitantly took the box and unwrapped it, making a small noise of delight when she pulled out the little ceramic bear.

"Oh Missus! I love it!"

"I'm glad. I noticed you had a small collection in your room, I hope this one will fit in nicely."

"Oh it will Missus, thanks you, thanks you so much!"

She bowed and left the room, clutching the bear like her life depended on it. I smiled, my heart lifting for her, then turned back to Severus to find him staring intently at me.

"I know you don't agree with it, but I don't agree with her. She deserves appreciation."

He remained expressionless, handing me my gift.

"I'm just glad it wasn't a sock."

I shot him a half glare, earning me a smirk. I handed him his gift, unwrapping them at the same time. He pulled out a chained pocket watch with snake engravings on it.

"I mentioned this months ago. You remembered?"

"To be honest I completely forgot about it until I saw it in Hogsmeade. It clicked and I snatched it up, hoping you hadn't already bought one."

"Well you're in luck… even if I had, I'm sure I'd much prefer this one."

"Such a charmer."

"Open yours."

I removed the white tissue paper and gasped, lifting the snowglobe out of the wrappings. Inside was a tiny village surrounded by swirling snow.

"It's the one from earlier today… but she said it was already sold, how did you get it?"

"I have certain powers of persuasion."

"Severus…."

"No magic, I swear. Just talking, however I did enchant the globe so the snow always moves."

I looked down to the globe and ran my fingertips over the smooth glass, tears filling my eyes.

"Thank you."

He scooted closer to me and put his arm around my waist.

"Why does it move you so?"

He brushed a tear from my cheek and I sniffled.

"My mom had a massive snowglobe collection. We had them everywhere in the house, the bedrooms, living room, even the bathrooms. When I turned eleven and started at Hogwarts she gave me a snow globe to take with me. It looked exactly like this one."

"What happened to it?"

"My Aunt. She destroyed pretty much everything except the house. She caught me with it one day when I was missing my Mom and she smashed it. I tried to fix it but she Reducio'd it past the point of return. I think the worst part of it all was her laughing while she did it."

He held me, caressing my back and kissing my hair. I intertwined my fingers with his and closed my eyes. He spoke softly but firmly.

"Growing up my father was not the nicest man. He would get drunk regularly and one night he came home from the bar out of his mind. He tore everything apart, the kitchen our bedrooms… my Mother. I spent most of my childhood patching her up after that. The only solace I found in those nights were books. I used them as an escape until I started at Hogwarts. After my parents died I gained ownership of the house. I took everything out I could and filled it with books, hoping to erase the memories attached to it."

I could hardly believe he had told me something so personal. In all of our conversations he barely scratched the surface of his private life, with no hint of a life before Hogwarts. I also understood why he was so good with nursing me back to health after Amycus. I felt my heart soften towards him, another one of my walls chipped away to almost nothing with the vulnerable admissions.

"Did it work? Erasing the memories?"

"Somewhat. I've found as time goes on and the more I come back, the less I associate it with my childhood. Especially now, being here with you."

Our eyes met and we kissed. It was so easy now, almost natural. Things didn't feel forced with him, which I attributed both to our history and current chemistry. I thought back to the other morning when we discussed my convoluted feelings totowards him and how he had responded.

"Is what you said the other day true? Are you really falling in love with me?"

"Yes. Is that so hard to believe?"

"A little. Though I'm not sure if my doubts are caused by you or me."

"Perhaps both?"

"Perhaps."

"Could I do something to erase that doubt, or at the very least lessen it?"

"Tell me you honestly did not just get my gift today?"

I winked at him and flashed a teasing smile. He rolled his eyes in response and pulled a small black box from inside his vest pocket.

"I had another gift picked out, but if I am to be honest I was rather relieved at finding the globe today."

"Why?"

"I was unsure if I wanted to give this to you. I worried it might be… too much too soon."

"Well now I'm very curious. Do I get it or will I have to wait?"

"I think after this conversation it would be best to give it to you now. Might ease some of your doubts."

He handed me the small velvet box and I opened it, nearly dropping it in surprise. Inside was the prettiest ring I had ever seen. It was a thin silver band covered in diamonds all the way around, glinting beautifully in the lamplight. It was so dainty and feminine.

"Oh Severus… I love it!"

"It's not… too much?"

I flashed him the biggest smile.

"No. It's perfect."

"Good. I noticed you tend to wear silver over gold and thought you might appreciate this over the Ministry issued ring."

He gently took my left hand and slipped off the original wedding ring, replacing it with the glittery gift. I held my hand up, admiring how it caught the light, my heart racing at the fact that he was so considerate he took my jewelry preferences into concern. I leaned back into him as he wrapped his arm around my hips. We stayed like that for awhile, Christmas music playing softly in the background.

"I haven't had a Christmas this nice in years."

"Me either. I'd dare say this is one of the nicest I've had."

"Mmm you flatter me Sev."

He tensed a little, and I thought perhaps I pushed it too far with a nickname, though considering everything else that had happened in the past few days a nickname seemed harmless. I caressed his arm and he kissed my temple, seeming to relax.

"It's getting late, should we retire?"

"Depends on what you mean by retire…"

I flashed him a saucy look and climbed on top of him, he chuckling and kissing my neck in response. We fooled around a little before he carried me up the stairs to our bedroom, slamming the door behind us. That night my only thought was of my husband and the four walls we called home over winter, no worries of the world collapsing around us.


	5. The Return To Hogwarts

**TW: Conversations including self-harm. You may skip the parts as you will not miss any truly important facts and the story will still make sense! I will also indicate when the conversations are happening and when they end!**

The castle walls loomed over us, casting a shadow on the thick blanket of snow still covering the grounds. Most of the students were still out on vacation, not needing to come back until tomorrow. I wondered how many would actually be returning.

"It would be best if you held onto my arm. We need to present a united front of sorts."

"Wouldn't that give the impression I agree with everything that's going on?"

"It would give the impression that you are complying. Which if I recall the last week you kind of are."

I stopped dead in my tracks and shot him a glare.

"That's not what that was about and you know it."

He simply held out his hand and waited for me to take it. His insinuation and lack of response irritated me, and I felt myself harden a little as I realized we were back to the cool facade of Headmaster/Death Eater Severus. I knew the small fairytale we had begun to create in Cokeworth would begin to unravel as reality hit in the next couple of days. I felt sad at this, but resolved not to show it. I took his hand without making eye contact and we continued up to the main doors. They swung open and we were greeted by students, Professors, and Death Eaters alike. It seemed rather odd that so many would be waiting for us, but I felt a sudden cold rush of air and my stomach hit the floor as Lord Voldemort appeared, almost gliding from around the corner. So that's what the greeting procession was for. Severus gripped my hand tighter, surprising me, and used reverse Legilimency; it was turning out to be a rather useful tool.

_Keep your eyes down. Do not speak unless spoken too. Don't worry, I will keep you safe._

I lowered my eyes as Severus guided me forward. We met Lord Voldemort midway, a large following of Death Eaters behind him. My heart felt as though it would beat out of my chest, but Severus kept a firm grip on my hand.

"Ah Severus! So good to see you back! I trust you had a good holiday?"

There were snickers and jeers from behind him. I knew it wasn't a genuine question, rather a sly insult aimed at me.

"It was tolerable, M'Lord."

"Mmm. And you, girl. How is this arrangement working for you?"

I wanted to vomit I was so nervous. Instead I swallowed thickly and straightened a little, not daring to meet his eyes.

"Severus is an excellent husband."

He chuckled and walked closer to me, leaning down to whisper in my ear.

"Ah yes, does he… take care of you?"

I closed my eyes and pictured Severus's smooth body against mine. At least I wouldn't be lying in my answer.

"Yes."

I could see Voldemort smile in my peripherals, and he took a long inhale of my hair. I felt my whole body stiffen and willed my face to stay stoic. He finally pulled back, telling Severus he had some things to discuss with him before the new term began. It seemed incredibly odd that Lord Voldemort was concerned about school matters, so I figured it must be about something bigger that somehow involved Hogwarts. Severus didn't look at me as he dropped my hand and followed Lord Voldemort and his cronies into the Great Hall. I kept my eyes down as I rushed to the Headmaster's rooms, feeling a soft hand in mine as I rounded the corner. Without looking, I knew it was Minerva.

"Are you alright dear?"

"A little shaken, but fine. When did he get here?"

"Shortly before you did. It was a surprise to all of us as Alecto conveniently "forgot" to mention it."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, finally meeting Minerva's gaze. We kept our hands interlocked as we continued towards the Griffin statue, Minerva breaking the silence.

"How were your holidays?"

"They went well actually, much better than if I had gone back home. How were things here?"

"Rolanda and I managed to get a single tree up, and the remaining students and _real_ Professors had a nice dinner. It was much colder than usual though."

I knew she wasn't talking about the weather. I squeezed her hand then brushed some hair out of my face. Minerva took notice of the new ring, and shot me a questioning look.

"A gift from Severus for Christmas. He thought this would suit me better."

She grimaced, her eyes holding a sad expression.

"You do realize who you are talking about? You can't trust these seemingly giving gestures."

Her voice was lowered and her grip had tightened. I knew why she felt the way she did, and I of course had constant doubts nagging at me. I pulled her into a corner so as to avoid prying ears.

"Minerva, believe me, I know who he is and what he's done. I don't trust him fully, but he has been more than accommodating to me. He has never raised a hand to me, nor has he threatened to. Honestly I think out of all the options I got the best one."

I decided to keep the admittance of feelings between Severus and I, knowing full well that Minerva would see it as a tactic to keep me in line rather than a true confession. She simply sighed and shook her head in response, her shoulders going slightly slack.

"It's so hard. Dumbledore trusted him more than anyone. We all trusted him. He had more than proven himself over the years and many of us considered him a friend. Sometimes I look at him and still see that friend."

I wrapped my arm around her, trying to offer some comfort. I could completely empathize with her feelings. Her next comment caught me off guard.

"I had hoped you two would be paired together you know."

"Really? Why?"

"You seemed to be getting close last year, and even Dumbledore had made a joke about you two entering a relationship. I hoped that if you were paired with him, he might at least be nice to you."

"Well, if it eases your fears, he _is_ nice to me."

"Good."

Minerva pulled me into a hug and we went our separate ways. I plunked my suitcase onto the bed, my mind still reeling from our entrance back to the castle. It was jarring to see him as Lord Voldemort's right hand man again. I settled my things back into their place and placed my new plants I had purchased in Cokeworth on the window sill. I looked over at the lily on the nightstand, still thriving. I thought to ask Severus about it when he returned, wondering about the meaning behind it and feeling more confident in asking him about himself. I head down to the sitting area behind the Headmaster's desk and curled up with a book, taking a minute to look out at the snowy hillsides. I could see the owlery way down below, and thought purchasing an owl of my own might be beneficial. The mail was so heavily monitored that Ministry regulated owls took forever to come. Not that I had too many people to owl. I turned back to my book and let myself get lost in the pages, the sun slowly setting behind the hills.

I didn't see Severus for five days. Alecto remained acting Deputy Headmistress and saw the arrival of the students returning from holiday. Severus made no mention of him leaving for so long, nor had he tried to contact me during his absence. I was both angry and worried. What if something had happened to him? What if the image he portrayed to me in Cokeworth was just that, an image? What if he lied about his feelings for me just to get something from me? I was pacing around the office on the fifth day when the large black door opened, revealing Severus in long robes.

"Severus! Where have you been?"

He approached me without saying a word, instead wrapping me up in his arms. I took comfort in his smell and the weight of him against me. He pulled back slightly and kissed me feverishly. It took me by surprise that he was acting so vulnerable. When he finally pulled back he cupped one side of my face with a slightly chilled hand.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea what the Dark Lord needed of me and I can't make my feelings for you known. You could become a target."

I didn't want to know who would target me or why. I felt uneasy at this statement and shuffled slightly.

"I'm sorry. I promise I was just trying to keep you safe. If I could have contacted you I would."

His eyes were soft and had a pleading element to them. If he was acting or playing a part to get me to cooperate, he was doing a damn good job of it. I couldn't help but trust his word.

"Okay. Just... please try not to do that again."

"I'll do my best."

I stretched up and kissed him again, taking his hand and leading him to the sitting room. I made him some tea and brought him leftovers from dinner, settling down beside him as he ate. He mumbled a thank you, and I noticed how weary and drawn he looked.

"You're going to bed after this. You're exhausted."

He cocked an eyebrow and brought the mug of tea to his lips, taking a large gulp before turning and pulling me closer.

"Is that an order?"

"I think you've had enough of those this past week. I just want you to take care of yourself."

He looked over at me, a peculiar expression on his face. He gently brushed my cheek and lowered his lips onto mine, a slow, tender kiss following. He took his time to explore me with his hands and by the end, my body was buzzing.

"Merlin, Severus…"

"That was my way of saying thank you for caring."

"Well, if that's how you'd like to express your gratitude from now on, I wouldn't object."

Severus chuckled and kissed me once more, turning back to his food. While he finished eating I opened my latest book, re reading some chapters as I had barely registered them while so worried. From the outside in, we almost looked like your average married wizarding couple. He cleared the table and pulled me to bed with him.

"I've missed you…"

It was a low rumble as he slowly slipped off my outer robe. I felt a shiver of desire go up my spine, kissing him softly on the lips as I began to undo his shirt buttons. I ran my hands down his sides and pulled him closer, eliciting a sharp intake of breath and a wince. I furrowed my brow and looked up at him, wondering why the small action seemed to cause him pain. He sighed and simply moved away from me, removed his robes and pants, then crawled into bed in just his undershirt and briefs.

"Perhaps tonight we should just rest."

I walked over to his side of the bed and slowly sat down so as not to disturb him too much.

"Severus I'd be okay with that if I didn't think you were avoiding telling me why you're in pain."

He simply huffed and rolled over, clearly indicating he didn't want to talk about it.

"You don't have to tell me what happened, I just want to know that you're okay."

There were a few moments of silence before he turned back over, choosing to look at the roof rather than me.

"The Dark Lord was not pleased that I left for the holidays. He made it quite clear I was not to do that again."

His jaw clenched and I knew he was recalling the events of Voldemort's punishment. I reached over, gently brushing his cheek to bring him back to me. His dark eyes finally met my blue ones and he reached up, holding my hand to him. His closed his eyes and took a deep breath, seeming to release his muscles.

"I'm so sorry. I guess I was foolish in assuming you'd be safe from his wrath."

"Nobody is immune from him. That's why I needed to keep you at a distance."

I felt tears come to my eyes and slid my hand down to his chest, lowering my head as a few tears fell. Severus sat up and leaned forward, engulfing me in his arms. He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck in a familiar, comforting manner. I placed small kisses on his collarbone and shoulder, trying to show him how much I cared for him.

"Shouldn't I be soothing you?"

"Well, you've always been the more sensitive of the two of us."

I gave a small chuckle and kissed him, feeling reassured that we were okay.

"Could we please sleep now? I am rather tired."

I nodded my head and stripped down, not bothering to put my clothes away nicely. I put on a thin silk nightie, and Severus reached behind me to remove my hair pins when I crawled into bed. We snuggled into each other, I being careful to avoid hitting his rib area. Sleep fell over us almost immediately, and we drifted into a dreamless dark.

I felt him stretch against me the next morning, something very prominent rubbing against my upper thigh. I giggled and pressed myself a little closer.

"My my, Severus, did we have some good dreams last night?"

"Mmmm, I did say I missed you…care to join me for a shower?"

"I'd desire nothing more."

We washed each other, taking our time. Those five days had felt like an eternity after seeing him daily for nearly four months. We kissed softly and ran our hands over each other, cleaning and exploring. It was easily one of the most intimate things I'd ever experienced. We dried off and Severus wrapped me in a towel, loosely hanging one off of his hips. I reached up and kissed him before walking over to the wardrobe to pick out my clothes for the day. I didn't have any classes until later in the afternoon, so I opted for something a little more comfortable until I had to bundle up against the icy grounds. I put on a simple black bra and panties, picking up a pair of pants before turning, noticing Severus sitting on the chest at the end of the bed in his towel, watching me.

"Like what you see?"

"Very much."

I laughed and made to put my pants on before Severus held his hand up in a stopping motion. I tilted my head, flashing him a small smile.

"Want to get your fill do you?"

He smirked and shook his head, running his hands through his damp hair before locking eyes with me. Good lord he was attractive.

***SELF HARM CONVERSATION. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP.***

"May I… ask about your leg?"

I stiffened a little as I instinctively looked down at my right thigh which was littered in pale white scars from my knee to my hip. I crossed my arms and shuffled a little, leaning back against the wardrobe.

"What would you like to know?"

"Well… what are they from? Who did it to you?"

I sighed and bit my lip, looking down at the floor.

"They're from… a razor blade."

"Did your Aunt cut you?"

"No…."

I trailed off, worried at his reaction when he heard the truth.

"Did you… did you cut yourself?"

I shut my eyes and decided to just come out with it.

"It was the only way I knew how to cope with my parents death and my Aunts cruelty. I felt very alone, with no family and minimal friends. There was nowhere for me to go, and I didn't know who I could trust. I was crying in the halls one day when Maggie Baxter passed me, unbeknownst to her. I… I saw her start cutting herself. I promised not to tell anyone if she told me why she did it. She said it helped relieve her emotional pain. Later that summer when my Aunt was particularly rough, I tried it and it actually worked. Anytime after that when I felt like things were too much, I would do it."

"Do you still?"

"No. I stopped when I got the job at Hogwarts. I was finally away from my Aunt, I had my own life, and…"

"And?"

I finally looked up at him, feeling my heart slow a little from the fast beat that had picked up during my explanation.

"I finally began to trust people. Namely you."

It was the first time I had spoken that fact out loud, and I supposed the best person to say it to was him.

***CONVERSATION OVER***

He smiled lightly and stood, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Do you remember the night a few days after the Yule Ball, when we were preparing the lake for the second trial?"

"You speaking mermish was easily the most impressive and slightly unnerving thing I've ever seen."

We both laughed.

'Your face was one of both surprise and horror. But at the end of the night, when we were walking back up to the castle…"

"And I asked you why you danced with me and no one else?"

"Mmmhmm. I joked that it was because green was my favorite color. You accepted that answer but I never told you the real reason. I wasn't ready then, but I think I am now."

I leaned into him, watching his face intently. I had never pushed for a real answer because I wasn't sure how close we really were (he was always so secretive) and I didn't want to ruin what had been an exceptionally good week. I decided to ask him again, three years later.

"Why did you ask only me to dance that night?"

He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, running his hand down my cheek and stroking it with his thumb.

"I saw you dancing with Karkaroff, and there was this… burning pit of jealousy in my stomach. He kept dragging you out on that dance floor and twirling you around, smiling too much and pulling you too close… I couldn't take it. I knew at that point I was gaining feelings for you beyond a peer relationship. Beyond friends, if you could call us that. When you finally sat down, something on the dance floor happened that caused you to burst out laughing, and I had never heard a sweeter sound. That's when I decided to ask you to dance."

"Severus…"

It was the purest answer I could possibly expect. I kissed him, feeling yet another wall break down. Here in our bedroom is where I felt safest, and where I could see the Severus I had always known existed come through. It was like the outside world, the world where he was a Death Eater, didn't exist. It was as though we would walk out and the sun would greet us, along with professor Dumbledore and Harry Potter in his school uniform. No Dementors, no forced marriage… although, I wasn't so sure I could complain about our pairing any longer.

***SELF HARM CONVERSATION, FEEL FREE TO SKIP***

When I pulled back I felt enough courage to ask the question that had been bothering me since our first night together.

"Now that I've told you about my scars... will you tell me about yours?"

I saw him briefly glance towards the lily on the nightstand, the one object I decided I didn't feel right inquiring about. I suspected it had something to do with the scars, and wondered if he would connect the two.

"Mine are… also of self-infliction. I made many an error in my day, bad choices, wrong turns. My preferred method of self punishment was a whip."

My eyes widened.

"You whipped yourself?!"

"Yes. It seemed the quickest and easiest to hide."

"How long ago?"

"Sixteen years. I only did it once. It was to serve as a reminder of my bad decisions."

I felt tears come to my eyes and slowly detached myself from him. I moved around him to his back, lightly running my fingers over the deep scars. I then leaned forward and gently kissed them, one by one. I could feel the tension leave his body under my tender caresses, and after I kissed the last one he spun around and kissed me full on the mouth.

***SELF HARM CONVERSATION OVER***

It had been a morning filled with tenderness, passion, and honesty. We clung to each other as long as we could before we needed to come up for air. I nuzzled our noses before he spoke.

"I think we ought to finish getting ready for the day."

"Mmmm that's probably a good idea. We're learning about dragons today and no doubt I'll actually have the students full attention."

Severus chuckled and walked over to his dresser, pulling out his robes for the day. We set about readying ourselves and with one final kiss, made our way to the Great Hall for breakfast. I felt so full of love for the man walking beside me, but as soon as we entered the hallway all I saw was cloudy skies and Dementors, bringing me back to reality. That nagging feeling of whose side he was fighting for came wiggling back in, and I found myself gripping his hand tighter, trying to hold on to the Severus that danced the night away with me in a silvery celebration. Sometimes, when there was such a quick change of environments, I felt almost insane at the warring emotions within me. I looked up at him and saw the stoic mask slip back on, my heart sinking as he let go of my hand and stepped ahead of me, I following behind like an obedient wife. It took everything in me not to cry.


	6. Baby Mine

About a month later I had particularly trying 3rd year class. I felt strangely nauseous that morning, and the students were too distracted by the invisibility of the Thestrals. Things were already tense when one Gryffindor girl, Madelaine Harrow, had a breakdown because her Father had been killed right in front of her and she realized why she was the only one that could see them. I had taken her to the hospital wing and sat with her for two hours trying to calm her, learning that over the winter break her Father had been sent to death at the Ministry for "stealing a wand" (a false charge Voldemort and the Ministry made up to punish Muggleborns), and her and her Mother had been present at both the sentencing and the execution. I felt a deep sadness sweep over me as I held her, trying to soothe her. Once she was settled enough Madam Pomfrey came over with some calming draught to help her rest, writing her off of school for two days. I stayed with her until she fell asleep, asking Madam Pomfrey to keep me updated on her recovery. I didn't feel like returning to my rooms, or even Severus, so I made my way towards Minerva's office. I knew she would still be awake, probably grading papers, and I could use the comfort of a familiar face. When the door opened she immediately pulled me into her arms, hugging me close before leading me over to her sitting area. She summoned some tea and handed me a cup with some light snacks.

"I didn't see you at dinner, you must be famished. I can have Greta bring up something?"

"No thank you Minerva, I'm actually not too hungry."

She nodded her head, understanding.

"I heard about Miss Harrow. How is she?"

"She's resting. It took some time for her to calm down, the poor girl has been through so much. Did you hear about her Father?"

"Yes, the news came back to us over winter break. Filius has been keeping a close eye on her since. I'm so sorry, we should have told you beforehand."

"It's alright Minerva. She'll be okay, she's a strong girl. I asked Poppy to keep me updated and I'll check on her tomorrow."

We sat in silence for a few moments, quietly sipping our tea while staring into the fire. Minerva looked over at me and spoke so softly I almost missed the question.

"Do you love him?"

My heart clenched and I felt a wave of emotion wash over me. I set my tea down and moved to sit beside her, she taking my hands in hers as I tried to collect my thoughts.

"Honestly Minerva? Yes. I had begun to form some type of feelings for him before any of this happened. He was always so kind and sweet to me, in his own broody way. We connected in a way I never imagined he could. When he killed Professor Dumbledore, I shoved those feelings away, angry and hurt that I had been deceived into thinking he was a good man. For the most part, I managed to turn my heart away from him, though I will admit, when I was paired with him for marriage, I did feel some sense of relief. At least he was someone I was familiar with. I tried to keep my distance, tried to remind myself of the horror on the Astronomy Tower. But he's so… different when it's just him and I. This mask he wears of emotionless neglect isn't there behind closed doors Minerva. He's kind, sometimes even soft. He listens to me, cares for me… worries about me. If he truly was this heartless Death Eater with no moral conscious why would he put up an act like that? There's no need. He could always beat me into submission like the rest of them do, but he's never even so much as raised his voice at me. He's also admitted, several times, to loving me. He is easily the most contradictory and complicated man I have ever met in my life...but I can't help loving him. Then we leave those four walls or something happens like it did today with Madelaine and I'm filled with confusion and anger and regret. I just… I don't know what to do!"

At this point I burst out sobbing, letting out all the pent up emotion I had been holding in for months. Minerva held me to her chest as I cried, rubbing my back and rocking me, not letting me go until I cried myself to sleep. She lay me on the couch and summoned a blanket, laying it over me as she cast an eternal spell on the fire to keep me warm.

I woke the next morning feeling a little groggy and kind of stiff from the couch. Minerva was already awake, having a cup of coffee. She looked up and gave me a small smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I cried myself to sleep."

She moved from her desk and sat in the armchair across from me, setting her coffee down on the table.

"You missed breakfast, would you like me to get you something?"

"Uhm, no thanks, I feel a little sick… I missed breakfast, what time is it?"

"Nearly noon."

I shot up, worried that I had missed my morning classes when Minerva held up her hand.

"I had Hagrid cover for you. Severus approved it, though I will admit he did seem rather… worried about your whereabouts. He relaxed greatly when I told him you were with me."

I rubbed my arms, trying to rouse myself from the cloudiness in my head. I knew it was Severus trying to reach me through reverse Legilimency. I huffed and stood, waving my wand to tidy up the couch.

"I should be getting back to him, especially if he was worried. I didn't expect to spend the night."

Minerva nodded her head and walked me to the door, holding my hand the entire way. I made to open it when she spoke.

"Adelaide… about what you said last night. I can understand Severus loving you. He always was very closed off but there was many a time I could see a heart behind the walls. Especially when he was with you. As I've told you before, both Professor Dumbledore and I spoke about you two becoming an item, so to speak. Severus...really did seem to have an interest in you, unlike anything I've ever seen in him. But… that doesn't make him a good man. That doesn't excuse what he did, or what he continues to do. This school… our world has been taken over by evil, and Severus is a part of that evil. He helped cultivate it. Loving him is one thing… standing by him and his principles is quite something else."

Her speech rang in my ears. I knew she was right, and suddenly I could put words to my inner struggle. I felt tears come to my eyes and pulled Minerva in for a hug, quietly thanking her before rushing out of the room. I decided to stop and see how Madelaine was doing, still not feeling ready to face my husband. Poppy greeted me at the door.

"She's awake but seems unable to eat. Perhaps you can help coax her?"

I nodded and slowly walked over to Madelaine's bed. She smiled when she saw me, my heart lifting a little.

'Hello Professor."

"Hello Miss Harrow. How are you feeling today?"

"A little better. The potion helped me sleep… honestly it was the nicest sleep I've had all year."

I fought to keep my emotions in. I'm sure she wasn't the only student having troubles sleeping in this castle.

"Perhaps we can contact your Mother and see if we can get you some sleeping potion for the year?"

"That would be nice."

"Have you eaten today?"

"Uhm, no… I don't really eat too much usually."

At this point I noticed how sallow her cheeks seemed and the grey bags under her eyes. I wanted to throw all forms of propriety out the window and scoop the girl up in my arms, but fought the urge and instead placed my hand on hers.

"I accidentally slept in this morning and I haven't eaten either. Would you like to try something together?"

She looked a little hesitant, but then slowly nodded. I had Madam Pomfrey bring us some of the soup from lunch and bread rolls. I figured they'd be easy to stomach for us both. We sat quietly, I trying not to stare at Madelaine as she ate but stealing glances every now and then. She actually finished her whole bowl, while I could only manage half of mine.

"Thanks for staying with me Professor. It's nice to not feel like I'm being pressured."

"Are your friends haggling you a little?"

"More like a lot. I know they care for me and they worry, but it just makes me more anxious when they hover over me watching my every move."

"Do you think it would help if you could eat lunch away from them?"

"Maybe… I suppose I could eat in the common room but we aren't supposed to be in there except free period."

"I'll excuse you from lunches and make it known you will be eating in the common room. You can start coming back to the Great Hall when you feel ready. Just please don't make this arrangement widespread and try to eat at least one thing per lunch?"

She nodded again, looking grateful but rather tired.

'I'l leave you be. Would you mind if I checked on you tomorrow before your release?"

"I wouldn't mind. It would be kind of nice actually."

I smiled and cleared the dishes, forgetting for a moment where I was and proceeded to tuck the girl in. She was asleep in moments. Poppy squeezed my hand on the way out, promising to let me know if anything changed or if she refused food again. Before I knew it, I found myself in front of the Griffin statue. I took a deep breath as I whispered the password and stepped onto the moving staircase. When it reached the top, I opened the door and found Severus sitting at the large Headmaster's desk, buried in paperwork. He looked up at hearing the door creak, and held my gaze as I approached the desk.

'Hello Adelaide."

"Hello Severus."

"Did you have a good night with Minerva?"

I could see the tense muscles in his jaw and sighed.

"Severus if you're upset please just say it. I don't have energy for head games."

He stood and rounded the desk, leaning back against it and crossing his arms.

"I am glad to know that you were safe, but you made no mention of staying somewhere else for the night. Next time could you please let me know?"

"I'm sorry Severus, I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Well you were with Minerva rather late."

"Yes because we were having a conversation and I roused off. I'm sure you heard of everything that went on yesterday with Madelaine Harrow."

"I did."

"Well that whole ordeal was exhausting and then Minerva and I got to talking… Next thing I know it's morning."

"Could you please let me know the next time you don't plan on coming back here after dinner."

I bit my lip and frowned, standing up a little taller.

"Severus I do not need to let you know of my whereabouts at all times."

He clenched his fist and huffed. I wondered if this was his breaking point.

"I don't ask because I want to keep a hold on you. I worry when I don't hear from you after… after Amycus Carrow."

My mind flashed back to the awful attack and I instinctively raised my hand to my jaw, lowering my eyes as a small pang of shame rushed over me. He stepped forward, placing his hands on my hips.

"I don't want you getting hurt. I can't protect you if I don't know what's going on."

I looked up at him, Minerva's words echoed in my ears and Madelaine's meltdown played in my head. I didn't feel woozy with love like I usually did when he was soft with me… I felt anger.

"Why do you only want to protect me? Why doesn't anyone else matter?"

"You're my wife. Who else would I need to protect?"

"The students! You say you want to protect me from a Death Eater, from potential attacks and beatings… yet students under this very roof receive those daily! And you stand by, you, you…. you support it even! You've never fought having the Dementors here, or the cruel new punishments, or even the marriage law. Amycus even told me you requested me… is that why you agreed with it? Or is it because you believe it's actually more important to guarantee the pureblood line than the safety of children?"

I could see the stoic mask slip over his face and knew he wouldn't answer any of my questions. I stepped back out of his arms, the anger still seething through me. He swallowed thickly and when he spoke, I wanted to punch him.

"Is that all? I have some important things to attend to."

My eyes narrowed and I stomped off, slamming the bedroom door behind me. I clenched the bedsheets between my fingers as I fought to keep self control. Sometimes it felt like I was in love with a stranger, and my head whirled with nausea. I ran to the bathroom as the vomit made its way up my throat, making it to the toilet just in time. When I was finished I propped my head up on my hands, taking deep breaths to try and steady myself. The dizziness finally subsided and I shakily stood, slightly wobbling back to the bed. I lay down, intending to rest only for a moment, but when I woke again, it was dark. A quick glance at the clock told me it was midnight, and the empty space beside me made me curious as to where Severus was. I took off my school robes, feeling a little stale as I had worn them for two days now, and slipped into my nightie and night robe. I padded downstairs, seeing that Severus had chosen to sleep on the couch; his robes were thrown haphazardly on the chair and his head was crooked at an awkward angle. I sighed and pulled out my wand, magicking the couch into a single bed, then walked over and pulled the covers over him, protecting him from the cool night air. The moonlight from the large window illuminated him and created a stark contrast with his jet black hair. I loved being able to see him sleep. All the tension he held during the day was gone and he looked almost peaceful. I leaned down and kissed his forehead, some of the anger dissipating as I grabbed a glass of water and crawled back into our bed, passing out right away again.

When I woke I felt another wave of nausea hit me. I raced to the toilet and hit the floor when Severus entered the room, no doubt to grab some clothes and check on me. After I was finished vomiting he came into the bathroom, picked me up and carried me back to bed, then summoned some water and crackers for me and placed a cool washcloth on my head. It reminded me of why he was so good at being a caregiver, the story of his father's ill treatment towards his mother flashing through my memory. We didn't speak a word to each other as he dressed, other than him telling me he would have Hagrid cover my classes again and headed out, though I suspected he would also have Madam Pomfrey check on me during the day. My suspicions were confirmed when she popped in around lunchtime.

"Hello dear. How are we feeling?"

"Rather exhausted actually. And still a little nauseous, Perhaps I've caught a flu?"

"Perhaps. We have had one floating around. Does the nausea last all day?"

"No, so far just the mornings."

"Okay, and how is your appetite?"

"Not great, I have a hard time keeping things down and a lot of smells bother me."

As I spoke I felt a sense of dread fill me. I could see Madam Pomfrey start to look a little nervous as she wrote down my symptoms.

"Alright and… when was your last blood?"

I shut my eyes as I tried to remember. It hadn't been since early December… nearly two months ago.

"Uhm… Dec… December tenth is when my last one ended."

Madam Pomfrey set down her board and reached over to hold my hand.

"Adelaide, I have to ask… is there a possibility that you could be pregnant?"

I felt tears well in my eyes and placed my other hand above my abdomen.

"I...I suppose so."

"Would you like to do a test?"

I nodded my head, speechless as Madam Pomfrey reached into her bag and pulled out her wand.

"I'm going to cast some smoke over your stomach. Once I say the spell, if the smoke turns green, you are pregnant. If it's red, you are not. Does that make sense?"

I nodded again, my voice seemingly caught in my throat. I felt my heart start to pound as I saw the smoke start to swirl above my stomach, unsure what color I wished it to turn. I knew I had always wanted children, but had never imagined having them in my current situation. I didn't even know if Severus wanted children… because we weren't really trying, we never discussed it. Madam Pomfrey whispered the spell, and we waited only a moment before the smoke turned a bright green. I felt like the breath had been taken from my lungs, and could only start to cry. Madam Pomfrey leaned forward and hugged me.

"Poppy… Poppy please don't mention this to anyone. Not even Severus. I... I need some time to process."

"I won't say a word. But judging from your symptoms I'd say you're nearly two months along. You'll start showing soon."

"I understand. Thank you, for checking on me."

She squeezed my hand and made to get up when I caught her hand again.

"How is Miss Harrow doing?"

"She seems better. I think your offer let some pressure off of her. She ate fine this morning and again at lunch. I spoke with her mother and she agreed to letting Miss Harrow have some sleeping potion before bed, though I must be the one to administer."

"I hope that isn't too much of a drain on you."

"Not at all. I'm in this profession, this place, because I want to help. There is hope for Miss Harrow yet."

We exchanged a smile and she left, I lowering myself back onto the pillows. I cupped my stomach again, wonder filling me as it sunk in that I was with child. I wasn't sure whether to be happy, sad, angry, worried, or all of the above; according to the law, I held inside of me a future Death Eater. The tears overflowed as I pictured a tiny, innocent baby in my arms. I had an odd feeling it would be a boy, and smiled as I started running a list of names through my head. I felt so overwhelmed, I wasn't sure what to do with myself so I hopped in the shower, threw on some robes, and went for a small walk down to the frozen lake. I cast a warming spell on myself as I sat on the same large tree root Severus and I sat on the night of the Doxy. Large flakes of snow fell around me, the world around me so quiet you could hear a pin drop… or the sound of crunching footsteps approaching from behind. I didn't turn, I knew who it was.

"Should you be out in this cold?"

Severus sat beside me, looking out towards the lake.

"Poppy said I would be fine. I needed some air."

We sat in silence for awhile, watching as the Centaur pride approached the lake and poked a hole in the ice, using a spear to catch fish. I noticed that two of them kept a sharp eye on us, never fully trusting humans, though I suppose they had fair reason to be distrustful of Severus.

"Thank you for the bed. My neck and back greatly appreciated it."

"You're welcome."

More silence. I could sense he wanted to say more, and waited to hear it.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. Your concerns… are valid. Your confusion and hesitancy is valid."

"Thank you for that Severus but that doesn't change the fact that my concerns about you are true. And you never answered my questions."

"I have always cared about the safety of the students."

"Then why the Dementors? The Death Eater teachers? Why do you stand with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

Silence again. Not even so much as a glance in my direction. He sat straight and simply stared at the Centaurs. I sighed and stood, clutching my stomach as I turned to face him.

"I'm not feeling well. I'll see you at dinner."

My voice was clipped and short. I stalked off to the castle, feeling another wave of nausea hit me. I stumbled and was about to fall when strong arms gripped me from behind and held me up. We slowly walked back to our rooms, and when we arrived he removed my outer robe and sat me on the couch. I read my book in silent anger until about 6pm when my stomach started growling with hunger. Severus looked over at me from the Daily Prophet.

"I heard that. They had some roast for supper. Would you like something lighter for your stomach?"

"No, roast sounds good. Thank you."

He summoned a small table and dinner, setting it up before picking up the newspaper and continuing to read.

"Aren't you eating?"

"I had a rather large lunch, I may eat something later."

He didn't look up at me once, his face unreadable. This wasn't out of the norm as he wasn't usually one to follow a strict meal schedule, sometimes skipping them entirely even in the Great Hall.

"Minerva asked about you at breakfast. Would you like her to come visit you?"

"Maybe not tonight. I'm still not feeling well and I have some papers to grade…"

"I assigned them to Hagrid. He seemed rather pleased to do them."

I shot him a questioning look.

"I don't want you to overwork yourself. You're obviously ill and need to rest. I want you healthy."

I instinctively placed my hand on my stomach, laying my head back and closing my eyes.

"Oh Severus…"

He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. When he pulled back I gently grabbed his collar and held him over me. Our eyes met and I whispered the words I never imagined I would say to him.

"I'm pregnant."

Severus' eyes widened and he immediately placed his hand over mine on my stomach. He stared out the window, obviously trying to process what I had just told him. I waited, anxious to see what he would say.

"That's why you've been so ill?"

I nodded my head.

"Poppy confirmed it this afternoon."

"How far along?"

"Somewhere around two months. We probably conceived at Christmas time."

He shook his head, then finally looked over at me.

"Are… are you happy?"

"Well, I always wanted a child… I guess I just still need to come to terms with the...situation in which I'm having one."

For a brief moment, I thought I caught a glimpse of pain cross his face. Was he hurt by my answer?

"What about you?"

He cleared his throat and looked out the window again.

"I had given up on marriage and children a long time ago. Honestly even the thought of partnership wasn't appealing to me. At least, not until you came along."

"Severus please…"

"I know it bothers you when I say tender things to you now. But you truly have given me everything I never thought I would have. And while I am apprehensive, I find myself… happy at this development."

I wanted so badly to believe him. Though he had never done anything to me personally to cause me doubt, the life he had chosen to live, the things he'd done, and to whom…He'd killed people. Albus Dumbledore. He didn't believe muggles deserved to live, that muggleborns were a lower class. He stood by and supported Voldemort, the most evil wizard of our time. I felt another wave of nausea at the thought.

"Could you promise me one thing Severus?"

"Depends on what it is."

I sighed and pulled my hand back from his.

"Don't let our child become a Death Eater. I know what you are, I know what life you've chosen to lead…. But please. Don't let our child follow all of your footsteps."

He stood, keeping eye contact with me. It felt as though he could see into my soul.

"I will do everything to keep you, and this child, out of harm's way. I swear to you."

I gave him a small smile and a nod as a way of thanks, and he turned, leaving the room. I let out a long breath and sank back down into the cushions, letting a few tears fall as I thought back to Christmas, the supposed time our baby was conceived. The karaoke bar. The Christmas Festival. The first time Severus and I held each other. The small bubble we had created around us was the start of me truly loving him, and apparently, of him loving me. Should I have gone back home instead? I wouldn't be pregnant. Perhaps I wouldn't even hold the same feelings for Severus that I did now. I wiped my cheeks and stared at the ceiling for awhile, desperately trying to clear my head using Occlumency. Unfortunately, it would't be able to clear my heart.


	7. Heartbreak and Final Decisions

April rolled around lazily, the sun slowly becoming warmer and the days longer. I was thankful that my symptoms had decreased, and I was functioning quite well for the most part. I had a rather obvious bump at this point, being around 4 months pregnant. Severus had announced my pregnancy last month (as he did with all the other pregnancies starting to pop up), and I had received a raucous applause from Death Eaters and Slytherins alike. I noticed that Pansy Parkinson (who was about 6 months along herself) didn't join in. I had been checking in on her and Madelaine Harrow regularly, taking them under my wing to protect them from what I could. Luckily for Pansy, it seemed Amycus wasn't so quick to harm her whilst she was with child, as she was "doing her duty". The two girls often spent the afternoons with me and spare periods in my office. Severus had excused them from the regular restrictions at my request, as I vowed to keep an eye on them. Being a fellow Professor, he used that as an excuse when questioned, though I and the girls were to try and keep it under wraps as much as we could. Amycus seemed to take issue with it but was quickly shut down by Severus, whom he still feared after he'd nearly been Crucio'd to death. As for Severus and I, we kept it mostly platonic. We stopped sleeping together and our conversations went from deep and intimate to surface level. It was awkward, at times sad and I found myself missing him often, but I stood strong in my values, managing to fend off Severus' many attempts at a reconciliation. His latest one included a snowglobe, which made me both happy and angry. Some nights if I was particularly icy towards him he would sleep in the spare room. Something I did notice was that he was never cold towards me. He kept trying and trying, never once complaining or demanding anything from me when I rejected him time and time again. I awoke one morning to the lily on his side of the bed missing, oddly enough not finding it in the spare room either. It seemed to be his most treasured possession, so I was bothered at its absence, wondering if this meant he was finally giving up on us. I was grading papers in the sitting room one night when he came home from a two day Ministry trip, plopping at his desk and letting out a sigh. He conjured some firewhisky and leaned back, resting his head on the wooden back. I almost got up to check on him, but instead turned back to my papers. Suddenly a mug of hot cocoa appeared in front of me, and I knew he was reaching out. I pulled out my wand and filled his glass again, reciprocating the gesture. I felt a small tug inside my head and knew he was trying to communicate with me; I usually had him blocked, but decided to let down my barriers just this once.

_Do you have much more to do?_

_Just this last essay. Probably the worst of them all to be honest._

_Let me guess…. Darius Rodden?_

_You would be correct. Essay writing is definitely not his forte._

_Is anything his forte?_

_Severus…_

I heard a low chuckle emanate from him and couldn't help but smirk myself. I missed our banter.

_How are you and the baby feeling today?_

_About the same as usual, though I've had an odd craving for some roast hippogriff._

_I thought you wanted pumpkin pasties stuffed with lemon jelly?_

_That was last week. It changes quite frequently._

I placed one last check mark before beginning to pack the papers up, stretching my arms and back before taking the mug of cocoa and sipping on it. He even added whipped cream on top, my favorite. I heard him scratching away at some documents and tsk'd.

Haven't you done enough work the past two days?

I would like to think so but unfortunately these things have deadlines.

I stood, upset that he was being worked so hard. I walked up to him, standing beside him and gently turned his head towards me, noting the dark circles and weary expression.

"You're going to bed Severus. You never work well when you're tired and I can tell you're exhausted. You can finish this in the morning."

He simply nodded, putting his quill down and moving to stand. When he reached the staircase he turned, making eye contact with me.

"Goodnight Adelaide."

"Goodnight."

I returned to the living room, continuing to sip on my cocoa as I watched the dnoe swirl outside the window. At some point I had dozed off, and woke to Severus carrying me up the stairs. I pretended to still be asleep as he laid me on the bed, pulling the blankets up then crawling in beside me. It was so hard not to fall for him again. He really was making an effort, always checking in about the pregnancy, and at this point I truly believed he loved me. I was attempting to clear my mind in order to fall back asleep when I felt a tiny kick in my stomach. My eyes shot open and my hand moved to just under my belly button where I felt the movement. Another small kick and I sat up, shaking Severus' shoulder.

"Severus… Severus wake up."

He grumbled and opened one eye.

"Are you okay?"

I grabbed his hand and placed it on my stomach, waiting for just a moment before another kick. Both his eyes shot opened and he propped himself up on his elbow, staring intently at my abdomen. We sat in silence as the baby kept moving, sometimes merely soft flutters that only I could feel, but mostly stronger kicks. I moved Severus' hand around so he wouldn't miss any movements. At this point I had a huge smile on my face, resting my head against the headboard as I felt our child moving inside of me. I looked over to Severus and saw a small, soft smile on his face, still looking down at my stomach. It was such a special, intimate moment, and I found I was rather happy he was with me for it. Once the baby settled back down Severus pulled his hand back, looking up at me with gratitude written all over his face.

"Thank you for letting me do that."

"Of course. It's your baby as well. I want you to be as involved as you'd like to be."

"Fully would be preferable."

"Fully it is then."

We shared a smile and I leaned down to kiss his forehead, lingering for a moment longer than usual. I brushed a strand of hair away from his face and ran my thumb over his cheek.

"Could we give us a try again? Please?"

His voice was so low, and it had such a pleading tone to it. I had never heard such a thing from him, and didn't even know he was capable of it. My heart nearly split in two, and I slid my hand down to his chest.

"I… I don't know."

"May I at least hold you and our child then? Just for tonight?"

The look in his eyes was too much for me, so I simply nodded and lay back down, facing away from him to try and keep some sort of boundary for myself. I had to admit, it felt so good to be in his arms again. He placed his hand over my stomach, probably in case the baby kicked again, and we eventually lolled off. For the next week or so I continued to let him hold me at night and if he was around when the baby kicked I would pull his hand to my stomach so he could feel it. He was always thankful that I did it, either returning the favour with a kiss to my cheek or some sort of sweet treat I was currently craving. We managed a rather peaceful sort of existence, even though we both desperately wanted more. I was thinking about how he had nuzzled into me in his sleep the night before as I was walking Pansy Parkinson from her spare period to her Charms class the following Friday when we found our way blocked by Alecto Carrow.

"My brother would like to see his wife."

I felt the hairs on my arms stand as a bubble of anger began to fill inside me.

"Miss Parkinson has a very important Charms class to get to. He may see her this evening as per usual."

Alecto sneered at me, gripping her wand tighter, and I braced myself. I could sense she was not going to take no for an answer.

"It's Mrs. Carrow, mind you. My brother has a right to his wife. He demands to see her."

"Professor Carrow, Miss Parkinson is a student before a wife in this castle. I am to escort her to her next lesson as per Headmaster Snape's rules. If Amycus would like to see Miss Parkinson during school hours, he can speak to the Headmaster."

At this point Alecto's face crunched into a snarl and she raised her wand. I pushed Pansy behind a pillar and whipped out my wand just in time to block a curse thrown my way. Before I knew it, we were in a full on duel, ducking and swerving, she throwing curse after curse at me and I blocking them with defensive spells. I did my best to stay in front of where Pansy was tucked, trying to keep Alecto's curses from her.

"It would be so much easier if you just gave her to me you filthy blood traitor!"

"From my cold dead hands Carrow!"

"That'll be sooner than you think!"

She started flinging more aggressive curses, and I heard a yell from behind me.

"Professor no!"

I turned my head for a split second to check if she was okay, then felt like a brick wall slammed into me. I was thrown back at least six feet and landed on my back, feeling my shoulder crunch. I screamed in pain, hazily looking over at Alecto approaching me before everything went black.

I woke later that evening in the infirmary, a slowly numbing pain in my shoulder. Clearly I had been given Skele-grow earlier and luckily the worst of it was over. I immediately shot up, Madam Pomfrey and Severus rushing to my side.

"Adelaide, be careful…"

"The baby, is the baby okay?"

Madam Pomfrey lowered me back against the headboard and Severus sat on the other side of me. She sat on the edge of the bed and held my hands.

"Adelaide… I'm so sorry. The blast from the curse hit you in the stomach and appears to have dislodged the umbilical cord. By the time we had found you..."

I suddenly felt numb and pulled my hands away from her. It was like the world around me disappeared, and a distinct buzzing rang in my ears. I knew Poppy was talking, but she sounded distant as I stared at the darkening sky through the window on the other side of the room. Everything became muddled until I felt Severus' warm hand on mine.

"Adelaide?"

I shook my head slightly and met Poppy's eyes.

"How is Pansy? Did anything happen to her?"

Poppy shot an uneasy look at Severus, then looked back at me.

"Miss Parkinson is fine, thanks to you. Completely unharmed."

"Her baby? That amount of stress…"

"The baby… her baby is fine."

"Good, good…"

Poppy and Severus exchanged another look.

"Adelaide… you'll have to take some potions for the next couple weeks. To help regulate your system."

"Fine. May I go to my own bed?"

"Well…"

"I'll look after her."

We both looked at Severus.

"I'll keep an eye on her, and you can give me a list of symptoms to look for. I don't have anything planned for the next few days."

"Alright fine, but I would like a check in once daily from you please."

I nodded, Poppy leaving to fetch the list. She went over some symptoms and what times to take certain potions, but I felt myself zoning out again. The buzzing came back full force. A gentle squeeze from Severus brought me back again, and he helped me to stand. I was a little wobbly, so he summoned a cane and I held on to him as we walked to our rooms. He was patient with me and walked at my pace. Thankfully it was after dinner so we passed no one in the halls. I motioned that I wanted to sit in the living room.

"I'm going to go crazy sitting in that damn bedroom."

He simply nodded and helped settle me on the couch.

"Would you like some tea?"

I shook my head.

"Just sit with me please."

I felt the weight of him beside me and I leaned back into him, he encircling me with his arms, careful to avoid my shoulder. I closed my eyes and felt so, impossibly empty.

"Do we know what the baby was?"

"Poppy said it was a girl."

I swallowed thickly as I pictured my lost baby, a small girl with blue eyes and dark hair. The emotions finally overcame me and I turned, sobbing into Severus, who held me tightly. To my suprise, I felt a large warm tear fall onto my forehead. I looked up at him. He too, was crying for our lost baby, and I had never felt a stronger love for the man then at that moment. Something shifted in me, and I knew a decision had been made. No matter what happened or who he had chosen to become, I wanted to be with him. I wanted to be his wife.

"I love you, Severus. I'm in love with you. I don't know how or why or when, but I'm in love with you. I can't help it."

He brushed away my tears and placed his forehead against mine.

"I'm in love with you too, Adelaide. These past months of coldness have been… excruciating. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you."

It was like a blanket of relief had been laid over me when he said that. I snuggled my head into the crook of his neck, still crying. His voice was low and calming when he spoke.

"Should we give her a name?"

"I… I was thinking about it but wasn't sure if it would be weird."

"I don't think it would be."

I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing for a few moments, trying to clear my head. I ran a list of girl's names and decided on my favorite, the one I always wanted to name a daughter.

"I've loved the name Elora since I was a girl. It was a fairy's name in my favorite book my Mother used to read me."

"I like that. My mother always said if I had been a girl she would have named me Rose."

"From Rose to Severus. Interesting jump. What about Elora Rose?"

"As her first name?"

"No, Rose as a middle name."

"Ah. My family has never had middle names, I tend to forget about them."

"Really? You don't have a middle name?"

"No. Do you?"

"Yes. Dawn, like the morning."

"That's beautiful."

"Thanks. My Mother picked it because she said seeing me was like seeing the morning sun rise for the first time."

"Funny, I can relate."

I felt a small blush come to my face and Severus leaned down to kiss me on the mouth. I placed my hand on his cheek and held him there. When we broke apart he looked down at me with a small smile, brushing the side of my face softly with his fingers.

"Elora Rose it is."

I began to sob again, and he held me for an hour while we grieved our lost child. The pain I felt in my heart was nearly unbearable, and I clung to the only person able to give me comfort. The father of my child. The man who felt the same pain, the one who helped name her, who grieved her loss as I did. Who seemed just as hopeful for her life as I had been. We ended up falling asleep on the couch, waking to the early morning rays of sun hitting our face. We stretched and Severus carried me up to the shower, where we undressed each other and washed. It was tender, but I strayed from any sort of intimacy. I was nowhere near ready for that, and Severus seemed to understand. I dressed in some loose pants and a sweater, choosing comfort for the day ahead.

"I received an urgent summoning from the Ministry. I tried to get out of it but…"

"Severus it's okay. I understand. Minerva has the day off as well, I'll go visit her and check in with Poppy. If I feel unwell I'll stay in the infirmary until you're home."

Home. How desperately I wanted a place to truly feel like home. So far no building had lived up to my expectations, but Severus was almost exceeding them. I knew the loss of our child had pinned me to him, attached my heart to his, and there was no turning back. He walked over to me and held me once more, us exchanging small kisses before he turned to finish getting ready. I made a quick pot of tea and took my potions, Severus joining me in the sitting room We made small talk for about an hour before he had to leave, a look of regret in his eyes.

"I'll be okay Severus, I promise. Keep me updated on your return if you can?"

"I will. I'll try not to be too long."

He leaned down and kissed me.

"I love you."

I smiled from ear to ear, my heart lifting to hear him say it on his own.

"I love you too."

With a swish of black he was gone, the emptiness threatening to take me over again. I huffed and threw on a robe lest students should see me, and made my way to Minerva's office. If I knew her at all, she would be spending her Saturday grading papers. I knocked on the large wooden door and was greeted with a curt "come in." I slowly opened it and peeked in, not surprisingly finding Minerva at her desk behind a stack of papers.

"Hello Minerva. Am I disrupting you?"

She looked up and her face immediately softened. She rose from her desk and summoned me in, wrapping me in her arms as we met halfway across the room. She held me for a minute, pulling back and cupping my face, her emerald eyes radiating sadness.

"Severus told me my dear. I'm so sorry. How are you feeling?"

She led me over to the large green couch and immediately lit a fire. I waited until we both settled down to answer.

"I'm still processing. I feel… rather empty. And so, incredibly pained. It just doesn't feel real at times."

Minerva shook her head and held my hand.

"I lost a child when I was first married. I was around as far along as you were. I remember the sheer heartbreak, and feeling like I would never recover. Like I had lost everything, I had no purpose. Fortunately I had good people in my life, who never once let me feel like I was alone. They held me up until I could stand on my own again, and we'll all be here to help you do the same Adelaide."

I felt the tears well in me again, wondering if they would ever dry up. I gave Minerva a small smile as a way of thanks, and swallowed the lump beginning to form in my throat.

"Would you mind if I stayed here for the day? Severus is at the Ministry and I'd rather not be alone."

"You're always welcome here, for as long as you need. I'll call for Poppy after lunch."

We exchanged a smile and Minerva walked back over to her desk, refocusing on her papers. It gave me hope that she had been through a similar incident, and had come out so strong in the end. I waved my wand and summoned my own papers, a little behind in my grading. Minerva had some low music playing, and we continued about our own duties for the next few hours, only stopping to enjoy a brief lunch together. She called for Poppy afterwards, who showed up with a few more potions in hand. She sat beside me, Minerva across from us, and laid them out.

"Before I get into the medical stuff… how have you been coping dear?"

"Alright I suppose. The grading has kept my mind busy and it's nice to have someone near."

Poppy nodded, patting my hand.

"Did you take your potions last night and this morning?"

"Yes."

"Any unusual symptoms?"

"None that I've noticed, just the slight bleeding and cramping you warned me about."

"Alright good. I have a few more potions here for you, then it should be just the ones I've given you for the next couple of weeks."

"Will I be alright to go back to work Monday?"

Poppy gave Minerva a side glance.

"Well… physically you'd be fine. If you think you're up for it, I see no reason medically why you can't."

Again the two older women exchanged a glance. I sighed and placed the empty potion bottle down.

"I know you're both worried about me but I think I've spent enough time on bed rest this year. I just want to try and get back to normal, whatever that may look like."

Minerva gave me a look of understanding, Poppy nodding her head a little.

"I understand. But please let me know if you notice anything off, or would like a few days to yourself."

"I will, I promise."

Poppy gave me a small hug after packing up her things, returning to the infirmary.

"Minerva, do you know what happened to Pansy Parkinson?"

"Well, Severus thad both Amycus and Alecto expelled from the school after…"

She trailed off slightly and I knew what she meant.

"Pansy has remained in Hogwarts and will continue to do so until the year is over. He replaced Amycus and Alecto with Dawlish and Robinson."

"So she's safe from Amycus for now?"

"Yes."

"Good. Perhaps I'll check on her after dinner. Is she back in the Slytherin Common Room?"

"Severus thought it would be best if she was to remain in Amycus's old rooms, especially due to the pregnancy. He thought she could use some personal space."

I smiled at his thoughtfulness, Minerva catching this and fiddling with one of her rings.

"How did Severus take the news?"

"I'm not sure about originally, but when we were alone he… he cried with me. It was very unexpected."

"I'll say, I didn't know the man had the ability."

I giggled.

"Me either. It was… comforting though. To have someone else grieve her loss as I did. We named her Elora Rose."

Minerva smiled as a tear came to her eye.

"My boy was Douglas Elden."

"I love that name."

"Me too. My husband at the time thought it was a bit too "muggle" but he was not one to argue much. He was a kind man. As I'm sure Severus is to you."

It was then I realized that Minerva was finally accepting of the path that I had chosen, knowing it was the best possible option for me considering the circumstances. We changed the topic to a lighter one before returning to our work, cracking down until dinner time. We decided to eat in the Great Hall, I ignoring the murmurs that erupted amongst my arrival. They were shushed immediately by Minerva, who had taken back the Deputy Headmistress position since Alecto's dismissal. The dinner continued as usual, and I made sure to catch Pansy's eye and give her a small wave, which was returned, although I noticed she looked a little shameful and quickly looked away. I took no offence, as she probably didn't want anything getting back to Amycus. I wondered just how safe she would be returning to him, especially after the baby was born. We finished our meals and the students were led out in the usual military fashion. I waited until they left to head to Pansy's room, still no word from Severus as to when he would return. I gave a gentle knock on the door, waiting for a response. It creaked open to reveal Pansy, who had clearly been crying.

"Professor! Are you alright?"

"I'm quite well Pansy, but what about you? May I come in?"

She nodded her head and stepped to the side, leading me over to a tiny sitting area by the window. It was a sparsely decorated room, with nothing but a few books and a large portrait of Pansy and Amycus above the small fireplace mantle. She caught me looking at it.

"It was Amycus' gift to me for Christmas."

"How… romantic."

"Would you like some tea? Amycus left me Winkie, I can have her fetch some if you like?"

"No thank you dear, unless you want some. Are you feeling alright, you look distressed?"

She gulped, and began to fiddle with her fingers.

"Professor… I heard… um… about your baby, and I'm so, so sorry, I should have just went with Professor Carrow and none of this would have happened…"

She let out a strangled sob and covered her face. I quickly swept her up in my arms, holding her as she cried.

"Pansy… Pansy look at me."

She shook her head as the tears continued to fall, so I softly took her chin between my thumb and forefinger to tilt her head up ward. Her eyes met mine and the sadness in them was heart shattering.

"None of what happened that day was your fault. it was not you who decided to duel me, it was Alecto. She, and she alone, is to blame. You did nothing wrong, and if a situation like that ever came up again I would do nothing differently. You are a student, Pansy, and it is my job to protect you as best I can. You are safe and well and that is what is important. Do you understand dear?"

She nodded softly, burying her head into my chest as she continued to cry. I stroked her back and murmered gentle words of comfort until she settled down. She apologized for keeping me but I wouldn't hear it, insisting I would stay as long as she would like me too. She said she was fairly exhausted and said she wished to sleep, but hoped to see me on Monday for our usual free period together. I readily agreed, giving her one more hug before leaving. I returned to the Headmasters rooms, feeling relief fill me that Pansy no longer held the burden of blame. The desk lamp was left on for me, indicating that Severus had returned and I felt a small tingle of joy. He brought me comfort in a way no other could. I entered the bedroom and flopped onto the bed beside him, burying my face into his side.

"Rough day?"

"Oh, it was alright. I handled things better than I thought I would."

"I heard you paid Miss Parkinson a visit."

I liked that he referred to her as "Miss Parkinson" over "Mrs. Carrow".

"I did, and I'm glad of it. Poor girl had survivors guilt of sorts. She blamed herself for Elora."

"Do you blame her for Elora?"

"Of course not. She was willing to go meet Amycus. I stayed to protect her, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

He looked down at me.

"I don't doubt that."

I kissed him, settling back down and letting out a long sigh.

"Is there anything else troubling you, besides the obvious?"

"I just… I dunno. Everything feels so dark lately. Just… heavy and depressing… I could really use something uplifting."

Severus gave me a pondering look, seeming to be thinking of something. He then snapped his fingers and jumped from the bed, throwing on his clothing and winter robe.

"Put your coat on."

"Severus it's ten at night. What's going on?"

"Trust me. Just put your coat on."

I shot him a skeptical look, then rose from the bed and dressed, placing my hand in his outstretched one. We walked down the halls to the front doors, Severus pulling me closer against the cold air. We head towards the frozen lake, Severus casting a spell to remove the snow from the shimmering ice. The moon reflected down, illuminating the pure white snow amongst the edges of the circular shape he had created. He raised his wand again, luminous blue orbs shooting from the tip and surrounding the circle of ice.

"It's beautiful…"

"You haven't seen anything yet."

Severus led me forward over the snowbank, and I nearly fainted as we entered the orb field. The world around us faded away and suddenly we were in the Great Hall during the Yule Ball, surrounded by the stunning silver and white decorations. I looked down and I was dressed in my emerald gown, Severus in his dress robes. Music played from the stage, but there was no one else in sight; just us two, once again at the moment we started to fall for each other.

"Uplifting enough for you?"

I turned to meet his eyes, mine filled with bewilderment and joy.

"This is amazing! How on earth did you manage it?"

"A special spell I learned during my time with Dumbledore. It can take you to a past moment, with a few tweaks here and there. I hope you don't mind the lack of spectators."

"I never mind being alone with you."

He smiled and held his hand out, pulling me into a dance. We waltzed around the floor, thankful we didn't have to worry about bumping into anyone or the odd stares and whispers directed at us. He whirled me around and we laughed the hours away, holding each other much closer than would have been allowed three years ago. After we worked up a bit of a sweat Severus led me over to a silver draped table, summoning some pumpkin juice. I gulped mine down, fanning myself with my hand.

"Tired?"

"I must admit, I am a little out of shape."

'Me as well. We should work on that."

"We could always go for a run in the morning before school starts."

He looked over at me with a scrunched face, and I burst out laughing.

"As if I would ever do that. I think we're just fine."

He smirked and looked around the Hall, taking in the decorations. If you looked hard enough you could see the haziness in the corners, cracking the illusion of the night. I chose instead to look at Severus, all dressed up, his hair hanging in curtains around his face. I thought back to my school days and marvelled at just how differently I viewed him. We were married. We shared the loss of a child. We were in love. I was suddenly overcome with emotion and moved to sit on his lap. He held me against his chest and swayed to the music, a slow song creeping out from the walls.

"Dance with me, wife?"

I giggled, catching the reference. When he had approached me at the original Yule Ball, he held his hand out towards me and I had shot him a bewildered look, so caught off guard my brain didn't quite catch what was going on.

_"Dance with me, Adelaide?"_

I came back to the present day, taking his hand in mine and pulling him up with me, leading him to the dancefloor.

"I think I much prefer wife to Adelaide."

"Then wife you shall be."

We smiled tenderly at each other, Severus pulling me closer so I could rest my head against his shoulder, facing inward so my nose was just below his chin. We swayed slowly to the music, and I felt that same thrill go through me that I had all those years ago when Severus first placed his hand on my waist to lead me around the room.

"Y'know, at the real Yule Ball, I had rather hoped you would ask me for a slow dance."

"Really?"

"Yes. I've never really danced with someone who I potentially fancied before. I wanted to see how a slow dance with you would feel."

"And?"

I looked up at him, his dark eyes boring into me.

"It's everything I could have wanted and more."

He kissed me softly before we resumed our dance, another slow song playing. I felt a sense of serenity fill my body, my eyes closing as I inhaled his deep musky scent and snuggled closer to him. He gave a small moan of appreciation, and time seemed to be lost as we swayed with each other, simply enjoying being in each others arms. A few more dances later we began to feel the exhaustion of the day creeping in, and after some slight hesitation we decided to call it a night. The cold surrounded us once more as the silvery Great Hall disintegrated around us. Severus pulled me into him when a chill ran down my spine, leading me up towards the castle again.

"That was beautiful Severus. Thank you."

"You are ever so welcome. I rather enjoyed it myself, though I must warn you, that spell can be dangerous as some people find themselves lost to it, too enraptured by the imagination they forget reality."

"Hmm, I was wondering about that actually. I could see how someone could become too enamored by it. Perhaps we could make it an anniversary thing?"

"I wouldn't mind that. I... like that you look forward to a future with me."

I looked up at him and smiled, taking his hand in mine. I liked it too. We practically fell into bed, trying not to notice the 2am time as we pressed close and our breathing evening out, falling into a deep slumber filled with dreams of wintery days and dances.


	8. The Battle of Hogwarts

Three days before the intruder alarm sounded in Hogsmeade, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley made a grand Gringotts escape, smashing through the bank with a decrepit dragon from the depths, apparently after invading the Lestrange vaults. Severus was overly agitated, the school put on high alert and more Death Eaters placed around the castle and Hogsmeade. As when Sirius Black escaped and was thought to be wandering the halls of Hogwarts, the students were all gathered into the Great Hall to sleep, the teachers taking shifts supervising them. Severus had placed him and I on the same shift, us wandering up and down the rows of students to make sure there was no tomfoolery going on. I thought I heard faint sniffles coming from the first years section, and tiptoed over to see a student crying. I kneeled down beside her, recognizing her as Hufflepuff Celia Patterson.

"Miss Patterson, what's wrong?"

She looked up at me with her dark blue eyes, cheeks stained with tear tracks. A few other heads turned to me and I noticed the wet trails on their faces as well. I sat beside Celia and crossed my legs, lowering my voice so as not to wake more students.

"Why are we crying?"

"It's...it's scary here Professor. Scarier than usual."

Another student, Aaron Rodgers, piped up.

"I had another nightmare. They keep getting worse."

My chest felt heavy with sorrow. These poor children, lying on a stone floor in a place that should feel like home but was instead a haunted house. Shadows of Dementors passed over us as I motioned for the two other students to move closer, they forming a sort of line in front of me with their sleeping bags. They settled down and looked up at me expectantly.

"What can I do to help? Would you like me to stay here while you fall asleep?"

They all nodded, three of the four students laying their heads down. Indie Braggs, a tiny Ravenclaw who was often picked on for his size simply stared out the window, his scraggly blonde hair catching the moonlight. Slowly the other three fell asleep, but Indie lay with his eyes wide open. I shifted so I was closer to him, moving some strands out of his eyes.

"Mr. Braggs? What's troubling you?"

His eyes met mine and I saw an intense sadness in them, so intense it knocked the wind out of me momentarily. He cleared his throat and reached his small hand out to clasp mine.

"Would you sing me a lullaby Professor?"

I wanted to cry, pushing back the urge so I could hold his hand and rack my brain for a song. One my Mother used to sing to me as a child came to mind and I told him to lay back and close his eyes, keeping his hand in mine.

_"La, la lu, la la lu, oh my little star sweeper, I'll sweep the stardust for you. La la lu, la la lu, little soft fluffy sleeper, here comes a pink cloud for you."_

Celia's eyes fluttered open, so I reached over to stroke her hair as I sang. I was so focused on the children I didn't notice Severus come up behind me.

_"La la lu, la la lu, little wandering angel, fold up your wings, close your eyes. La la lu, la la lu, and may love be your keeper. La la lu, la la lu. La la lu."_

Gentle snores told me the children had fallen back asleep, little Indie's hand growing limp in mine. I softly placed it beside him and sat there for a few moments, making sure they stayed asleep. When I was convinced I quietly rose and turned, meeting Severus's gaze. He was standing a few feet away from me, stoic as ever.

"You'll make a wonderful mother."

At that a tear rolled down my face and I stepped over to him, kissing him on the cheek before wordlessly moving back down the rows to continue monitoring the children. Truth be told, I was just as terrified as them, though for different reasons. Severus could sense that I was off, and when our shift came to an end he took me into an empty classroom, quickly casting Muffliato before turning to me.

"I thought we were supposed to sleep in the hallway in case something happens?"

"We are, but I wanted a more private place for our discussion. Something is upsetting you."

I rubbed my arms and turned away from him, walking over to a large window. He came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Adelaide…"

I sighed and lowered my head.

"Severus… I'm so scared. What if he wins?"

"The Dark Lord?"

"No… Harty Potter."

"Are you saying you no longer wish Potter to vanquish He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

"I do want him to. I've always wanted him to. But Severus… what happens to you if he does? You're He-Who-Must-Not-be-Named's right hand. The man who killed Albus Dumbledore, the one thing keeping him from rising to power. If Harry Potter wins… they'll feed you to the Dementors."

He placed a soft kiss on my temple and pulled me flush to him, wrapping me fully in his arms.

"Adelaide… Please. Just trust me."

"This isn't about trusting you. Will you have to go into hiding? Be on the run for the rest of your life?"

"No. None of that."

"So you die then?"

"No."

I gave an exasperated sigh and plunked my head on his shoulder.

"I promise you. Everything will be okay. Just… trust me."

It was a low rumble in my ear and I could feel something stir in me. I turned to face him, leaning up on my tip toes to kiss him greedily. We hadn't had much intimacy since our fight; I was eager to capture his lips in mine.

"I missed that."

He shot me a cheeky smile and stole another kiss. I giggled as he cupped my chin.

"I love you, Adelaide."

I nuzzled into his hand and kissed his palm.

"I love you too."

We kissed again, slower this time, more intimate. I felt him shift a little as he pulled out his wand and transfigured a fluffy white bed behind us. I simply magicked our clothes away and he lay me on the bed as the moon suddenly peeked through the clouds, washing a bright, soothing light over us. I reached up and pulled him down to me, my skin forming light goosebumps as he traced his fingers up my hip.

"You're so beautiful."

I would never tire of hearing it. I kissed him, and for a moment everything in me felt peace. There was a quiet to the room that matched my soul as he slowly began to rock in me, feeling so at home with him, so safe I couldn't imagine desiring anyone else. Soft moans filled the air as we took our time, slowly building up to that final moment. With one final gasp my entire body clenched and shuddered, Severus continuing to move until he came as well. He hovered over me, both of us slightly sweaty and out of breath, simply staring into each others eyes. Severus lowered himself and kissed me, then moved to lay beside me. I curled into him, pulling the thick white duvet over us.

"Could we stay here? Just for a little while?"

He nodded and I closed my eyes, laying my head on his chest so I could hear his heartbeat.

"Sing to me."

I chuckled, shifting slightly so my chest had more room to expand. I started humming a low melody and looked up to see Severus had shut his eyes, relaxing into the moment. I hadn't felt so loved and wanted in years, an overwhelming set of emotions erupting in my chest as I looked down at my husband. Eventually we both fell asleep, trying our best to hold on to this moment as we were unsure how many more we would get.

May 2nd, 1998. Though we didn't know it when we rose that morning, this was to be one of the most infamous days in all of European Wizarding history. The day started out like any other, the sun rising a little earlier as summer approached. Things were a little tense with Severus as Harry Potter had disappeared once again, and there was suspicion that he would be making his way to Hogwarts. Because of this, the school was put on high alert and there was an anxious air to the day as more Death Eaters were put on patrol around the grounds and Hogsmeade. Since my classes were out near the Forbidden Forest, they were cancelled, as both students and teachers were to remain inside the castle walls until further notice. I had just finished checking on some students in the library, letting them know it was only a half hour until curfew when Severus approached me, looking rather concerned.

"Do you have a moment?"

"Of course. Is everything alright?"

"I am not sure. Could we speak privately?"

I nodded and led the way to the trophy room, shutting the door and locking it behind me, just in case. I reached out and took his hands in mine, not liking the creased lines of worry on his face.

"Darling what's wrong?"

Severus sighed and pulled something from his pocket. When he held it out to me I gasped. It was a small glass pendant in the shape of a heart, strung on a long silver chain. Though it was beautiful, it was what was encased in the glass that took my breath away. I ran my fingers over the smooth surface, examining the little green double headed flower with yellow pollen stalks floating in the pendant.

"Severus… This is a Vita Flower! How on earth did you manage to get one?"

Vita Flowers were tremendously rare, and these days thought extinct in the wild. They gave the gift of life to a recently deceased witch or wizard, without the usual nasty side effects of Necromancy. One hadn't been seen in nearly six centuries.

"This has been in my family for generations, an heirloom of sorts. Though it is normally kept for the women of my family, my Mother passed it down to me when she saw what ... path I had chosen to take. She offered it to me as a sort of protection, though to be honest I've never worn it."

"Why are you giving it to me?"

"Because there will be a war soon. It could be tomorrow, it could be next week, I don't know. But I know you will be caught in the middle and I need you safe; this is the only way I can guarantee that."

"So… you've changed your mind about sending me away then?"

"Not really, I still wish you would let me hide you. But I know you will fight for what you believe is right, and that I cannot stop you. For my ease of mind, please take this."

I turned so he could put it on me, tucking it under my robes so no one would be able to see it. He smiled softly at me and I reached up to kiss him, something telling me to hold on to him just a little bit longer this time. I laid my head on his chest and he held me close, us enjoying the peace of the moment. Suddenly we heard a faint sound coming from the window, almost as though a cat were screeching. Severus immediately tightened his grip and his whole body became tense. A burst of white came through the door, taking the form of a hyena patronus that shifted about the room sneakily.

_"The boy and his friends have been spotted in Hogsmeade. We're tracking them down now."_

I looked back as Severus, who had his jaw clenched tightly.

"He's here."

Everything was pretty much a blur after that. All of the alarms went off, the teachers hurrying to round up the students in the Great Hall, the four houses sectioned off. Severus stood on the landing where the teachers table usually was, watching as the students were ordered about. An eerie silence fell over the crowd, waiting for the address of the Headmaster. I stood to the side of Severus, trying not to appear nervous, though I felt I might vomit.

"Many of you are surely wondering why I have summoned you. It has come to my attention that earlier this evening, Harry Potter was sighted in Hogsmeade."

Whispers broke out over the crowd, students turning to eachother to murmer about this development. Severus' voice cut through the chatter, silencing everyone immediately.

"Now, should anyone... student or staff attempt to aid Mr. Potter, they will be punished in a manmanner consistent with the severity of their transgression, furthermore... any person found to have knowledge of these events who fails to come forward will be treated as equally guilty."

The coldness in his voice shook me to my core, my eyes fixated on his still form. He was in full Headmaster/Death Eater mode, his entire body language matching his icy words. He stepped down from the landing to make his way towards the students.

"Now then... if anyone here has any knowledge of Mr. Potter's movements this evening... I invite them to step forward. Now."

The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, nobody daring to meet Severus' gaze. Suddenly there was a bit of a ruckus as someone emerged from the Gryffindor crowd... it was none other than Harry Potter himself.

"It seems, despite your exhaustive defensive strategies, you still have a bit of a security problem Headmaster. I'm afraid it's quite extensive."

The Hall doors burst open to reveal what was left of the Order of the Phoenix, a group brought together by Dumbledore to defeat Lord Voldemort the first time he rose to power. My heart sank upon witnessing The Boy Who Lived, knowing the moment I would have to fight agaisnt my husband had come. Once the murmers had died down Harry spoke again, emotion and anger lacing his voice.

"How dare you stand where he stood. Tell them how it happened that night. Tell them, how you looked him in the eye, a man who trusted you, and killed him! Tell them!"

At this Severus raised his wand, attempting to duel Harry before Minerva pushed him to the side, wand raised at Severus. The students screamed and rushed to the walls, trying to get out of the way. I noticed that for a moment, Severus faltered. His wand lowered ever so slightly, his shoulders going slack before regaining his duelling stance. I knew he and Minerva were friends the years before, and he trusted her greatly. I wondered if going against her was potentially painful for him. The air was tense as we waited, Minerva finally making the first move. She shot curse after curse at him, he blocking each and everyone of them, without ever throwing one back. After pushing him back quite a ways he flung his cape around him, using the Death Eaters signature flying spell to smash through the large window of the Hall and disappear.

"COWARD!!"

The Hall erupted in cheers as Minerva lit the lanterns again, everyone relieved that they were free once more. The next hour was a bit of a blur. We prepared the defend the school against the incoming army of Voldemort, rushing the underage students out and helping the Order and Staff set up protection spells. At one point I felt an oncoming headache, and opened communication as I knew it had to be Severus.

_Please stay safe. I love you._

_Same for you. I love you_ _too._

Just like that he was gone again, and I was left in the strangest position I would ever find myself. Fighting for what was right, what was good and just for the wizarding world... fighting for what I believed in, and everything the man I loved did not. Minerva found me at one point, pulling me off to the side away from the crowds of people.

"Adelaide... you know we need as much help as we can get, but I need to know I can trust you to be on our side."

Her concern was valid, so I took her hands in mine.

"Min, you have my word. No matter what lies between Severus and I, I have never, and will never, side with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. You can trust me."

She nodded her head, squeezing my hands before taking off again with Molly Weasley towards the Clocktower Courtyard. Before we knew it, our defense spells were being blasted from a hill overlooking the castle, clearly indicating where the Death Eaters were located. It didn't take long before they were broken down, the school suddenly overrun with Trolls, Acromantula, and Death Eaters. We were in a full on battle, the very walls around us disintegrating with each flung curse. The smell of blood and dust hung in the air as both Death Eaters and not were killed. I tried to keep my wits about me, using the dueling skills Severus had taught me in my second year of teaching to keep myself alive. As I was fending off a troll with some seventh year students I saw Alecto Carrow make her way towards Minerva, who was facing the other way in combat with some blonde man. Anger coursed through me as I clutched my stomach, racing towards the vile woman responsible for the death of my child. She barely saw me coming.

"CRUCIO!"

She crumpled to the ground, writhing and screaming in pain. I held her there for as long as I could manage, wanting her to feel the pain I had when I woke in the infirmary. A soft hand gtipped my my shoulder and I pulled back, Alecto gasping for air. I turned to see Minerva, wand raised with a serious look on her face.

"She's not worth it my dear."

I gave Minerva a faint nod, covering her back as she Imperio'd Alecto and led her up to the Ravenclaw tower, tying her up beside her brother.

"Death would be too easy for them. Those bastards can rot in Azkaban for the rest of their pathetic lives."

I gave a small giggle at Minerva's use of "bastards", we exchanging a quick hug before heading back out into the chaos. I stayed with Minerva most of the time, we making an excellent team as we fought off all sorts of evil. I tried to stay focused on the battles, but found myself keeping an eye out for Severus. He was nowhere to be found, which I thought was very odd. Perhaps he was staying close to Voldemort. We had somehow found our way out to the courtyard when I caught a glimpse of thick black smoke racing from the boathouse to the Forbidden Forest. It was then Voldemort's piercing message came through, telling his forces to draw back so we could collect our dead and pay respects. He then asked Harry to meet him in the forest alone or he would kill everyone that stood in his way. As the evil retreated I saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione running up towards the castle from the boathouse, and something in my gut told me I needed to check it out. I hid in the bushes as they raced past me.

"Harry... Harry slow down, why does Snape giving you his memories matter so much?"

"Clearly they mean something Hermione, he gave them to me as he was dying. I need to check them out. Hopefully we can get into the Headmaster's office."

_As he was dying._ The words rang through me, a sudden desperation kicking in. I raced down the stairs, coming to a screeching halt at the bottom. Through the fogged glass I could see a body slumped on the floor, half held up. There was blood splattered and smeared everywhere. My heart hammered as I slowly pushed open the door, praying it was not Severus, but knowing deep down it was. I took a deep breath before looking in, my eyes immediately landing on him. He was pale white, a large amount of blood staining his skin and robes, leaking onto the floor below him. His eyes were the worst. They were blank, staring out at nothing. I crumpled in front of him, the sobs coming before I hit the floor.

"Severus! No, no, Severus wake up, please, please wake up!"

I cupped his head in my hands and pressed my forehead to his, the sobs wracking through me. He was starting to get cold. I pulled back to inspect him, noting that his neck was covered in what looked to be large wounds from a slim, sharp object... I immediately recognized them as snake bites, most likely from the giant anaconda Voldemort kept close. I clutched my chest and felt something under my robes, nearly smacking myself when I came to the realization of what it was. The Vita Flower! I quickly tore the pendant off of me, pulling my wand out with shaking hands to crack the glass that held it. I carefully scooped it into Severus' mouth, closing it tight. My heart was racing. There was only a certain amount of time before the flower would no longer work, and I hadn't the faintest idea how long he had been dead. I waited with baited breath, it feeling like hours as I looked for the slightest inkling of life. When his eyes remained lifeless I felt my heart crack in two, a pain like no other washing over me as I broke down, burying myself into his chest and clutching his robe to me. I knew that we were fighting for different sides, and that depending how the war ended there would be an awkward period of figuring out how we would make it, but I never imagined we wouldn't even get the chance. I wanted the cement floor to swallow me whole right then and there, the grief too much for me this time. A slight warmth began to roll over me, I barely noticing it until I felt a hand on the small of my back and a low whisper in my ear.

"I thought I told you to keep that for yourself."

I shot up, seeing the light in Severus' eyes once again. He gave a short cough before smiling.

"Severus!!!"

I couldn't form words as I clutched him to me, crying all over again as I felt his arms around me. He whispered reassuring words to me as he gently rocked me, I trying to hold back from squishing him too tightly. I finally sat back to look him in the face, kissing him over and over again.

"Dear, as much as I would like to continue this there is still a war going on."

"Severus what happened? Did He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named kill you?"

"Well not so much him as his snake. Apparently I was the one thing in the way of him having true mastery over the Elder Wand."

"The what?"

"Nevermind. What did I miss?"

I nearly laughed out loud at his casual comment, speaking as though he had merely been on vacation and not dead. I brushed his hair behind his ears and filled him in, saying that the hour was almost up for Harry to meet Voldemort. He nodded along, processing the information.

"Severus we need to get you out of here. You're not safe from either side now."

"Do you know where Harry Potter is currently?"

"I passed him on my way down here, he was making his way up to your office for some reason... something to do with memories you'd given him?"

Again Severus nodded, seeming to contemplate something. I could feel a sense of urgency, though I tried to be patient as he was just dead not five minutes ago.

"Sev, darling, we need to leave, now."

"Not yet. Do you think you could apparate us to our room?"

"I...well yes I suppose, but what for?"

"Just trust me, I'll show you when we get there."

I sighed, then helped him to his feet, quickly cleaning the blood from his skin and clothing, my body clenching everytime I had to look at it. Once Severus was steady we turned, the uncomfortable squeezing sensation lasting for a few moments before we landed in our bedroom, Severus stumbling ever so slightly. He motioned for me to stay where I was, slowly opening the door and creeping out. I worried for him and felt a strong urge to stay close to him, so I followed close behind. We peered over the railing (Severus shooting me a small look of dissaproval when he noticed me), watching as Harry Potter re-emerged from the Pensieve. He took a moment, appearing to come to a realization before walking out the door. I didn't move, waiting for Severus to say something.

"I think the coast is clear. Come with me."

I held his elbow to help him balance as we descended the stairs, he leading me over to the Pensieve. I could see many memories floating on the surface, assuming them to be Severus'. He turned to me, a pained look on his face.

"A few months ago you asked why I did not seem to care for the students or their safety, and how I could possibly follow the Dark Lord. These... these memories, though painful, will answer those questions. If you wish to see them... you may."

I could see the hesitation in his eyes. He looked vulnerable, almost child-like in the Pensieve's glow, and I knew this was most open and honest he had ever been, potentially with anyone. There was no way I was going to pass this up.

"Will you come with me?"

"If you desire it, yes."

Our hands intertwined, I giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before we dunked our heads in.


	9. The Prince's Redemption

A coolness surrounded us as swirls of grey, blue, and black slowly formed into people and scenery. I watched as Severus' childhood played out before me, he and a red-headed girl named Lily becoming the very best of friends as he explained to her what magic was while they played in a large oak tree by a stream. It warmed my heart to see him so young and hopeful. As the memories continued to play out they slowly became darker, we suddenly back in the Cokeworth house, though Severus was still a child. It was dark and gloomy, the front door smashing open to reveal a thin, sallow looking man who was cleary drunk. He was screaming and throwing things, trapping a woman who looked almost exactly like Severus in a corner. I assumed these were his parents as tiny Severus cowered under the dining room table. I gripped the real Severus tighter, my stomach clenching as I watched the little boy try and block out the noise. The drunk man was screaming about how embarrassing it was to have a witch for a wife and a freak for a son. This caught my attention. Was Severus' father a muggle? I didn't have much time to reflect as the scene changed to Hogwarts, showing Severus being sorted, then changing to various points throughout his school years. The incessant bullying from a foursome of boys was particularily disturbing, it turning almost deadly at one point as the boy called "Sirius" nearly tricked Severus into following him to a werewolf hideout. I became enraged as I watched them practically torture him, and as his so-called friend Lily slowly began to get closer to the apparent leader of the group, James. During one particularily embarrassing incident where James hung Severus (or "Snivillus" as they so rudely called him) upside down and removed his trousers in front of a crowd of students, he screamed the word "Mudblood" at Lily, and that was it. She was done with him. Even though Severus suffered horribly at the hands of those boys, she immediately switched alliances the minute that awful word escaped him. He tried to apologize, swearing up and down he didn't mean it, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. It was then Severus truly went dark, leaving all thoughts of friendship and compassion behind. I watched as he joined Voldemort, desperately searching for a purpose that neither his upbringing or Lily would give him. Things shifted and we were atop a hill, a bright light whoosing around us as the memory Severus kneeled in front of us. Albus Dumbledore appeared, and Severus begged him not to kill him. He explained how the prophecy that foretold Voldemort's defeat described a boy born at the end of July, and how he thought it was James and Lily Potter's son. He begged Dumbledore to hide Lily and her family, to keep them safe. My heart broke as I heard the desperation in his voice. Lily was the only real friend Severus ever had, and it was obvious from the start he loved her. Here he was, risking his life to try and save her. The memory twisted again and we were in Dumbledore's office, Severus leaning heavily against a pillar looking more anguished than I'd ever seen him. Dumbledore explained how Lily and James had put their faith in the wrong people, ultimately leading to their demise. He then told Severus that the baby survived, and he had Lily's eyes. He asked for Severus' help in protecting the boy of the woman whom he'd loved. Severus demanded that no one know, Dumbledore clearly disappointed.

_"Then I shall never reveal the best of you, Severus."_

One final memory played before we re-emerged. This one was clearly years later, signs of age showing on Severus. I also noticed Dumbledore's burnt looking hand, which oddly enough he had never explained the year prior. Dumbledore launched into a speech about how Harry Potter had to die at the proper moment, Severus immediately bothered that he had been "raising the boy like a pig for slaughter". When Dumbledore asked if Severus had grown to care for Harry, he became stoic and pulled out his wand, casting his patronus spell. It took the form of a doe, who pranced about the room and out the open window. Dumbledore looked over at him, slightly shocked.

_"Lily? After all this time?"_

There was a slight pause before Severus answered, still looking out the window after the doe.

_"Always."_

I felt my feet hit the ground, still clinging to Severus as we returned to the present day. I looked up at him, tears filling my eyes.

"You... You've been on our side the whole time? Acting as a Death Eater to spy on He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named so you could help keep Harry Potter alive?"

He nodded, his eyes lowering.

"I will not pretend that I have always had good intentions. I did join the Death Eaters and fully intended to remain one... until Voldemort began to target Lily. I couldn't just sit back and watch her die. Once I agreed to join Dumbledore and protect the boy I saw the world a little differently day by day, Dumbledore helping me regain trust in the "good side." I've played my part well, acting as a double spy when really, I was never truly on the Dark Lord's side. I couldn't be after he killed the only person I had ever felt really cared about me, even if she no longer felt the same."

I felt the tears slip down my cheeks, relief filling every inch of my body as his words sank in. Severus. Was. _Good._ He wasn't the monster he had portrayed himself to be and I no longer had to fight between loving him and hating his lifestyle.

"And... and Harry, he knows this now? He's seen the memories?"

"Yes. Hopefully now he has enough information to win this war."

"And enough information to clear your name when the time comes?"

He looked down at me, looking slightly surprised as he smiled.

"Yes, hopefully so."

I giggled excitedly, flinging my arms around his shoulders as I pulled him into a hug.

"However, if for some reason Voldemort does win, I will have to go into hiding as he believes me dead. You can't..."

"Severus Snape, I know exactly what you are going to say and I will stop you right there. I don't care how dangerous it is, I'm not loosing you again. If hiding means we stay together then I will hide away for the rest of my life."

There was a glint of something in his eyes before he brought his lips crashing down on mine, we quickly becoming entangled in each other. I delicately ran my hand along the now healed wounds on his neck, leaning down to kiss them. I could leap around I was so happy. Severus. Was. _Good._ He wasn't the monster he had portrayed himself to be. I stepped back, still holding him as I took a deep breath.

"May I ask you some questions?"

"Of course."

"Okay... your Father... he wasn't a wizard, was he?"

"No. He was a muggle. My Mother fell in love with him in her youth and they became pregnant right away. From what she told me when he found out she was a witch is when he started drinking."

"That's horrible. But I don't understand... if you're a half-blood, how is it you were included in the Marriage Law?"

"I have never made my blood status well known, and most people, including the Dark Lord, have always assumed I was a pure-blood. When the Marriage Law came about I went to the Dark Lord and asked if I may choose who I was partnered with."

"Wouldn't that have been risky?"

"It was. But if it meant you had a chance at being safe with me, I was willing to take the chance of a bad repercussion."

I brushed my fingertips along his cheek, leaning up to kiss him again.

"Thank you."

"Any other questions?"

"One more. The lily, on your nightstand. I'm assuming it was for your friend?"

He nodded.

"I enchanted it after I learned she had died. It was my own way of memorializing her. I thought that I would keep it forever, a reminder of the loss I had suffered, the loss of the only woman I would ever love... then you came along. When we had our fight and I learned you were pregnant, the fear that coursed though me was the same feat I felt when I learned Lily was a target. I knew then and there, I was irrevocably in love with you, and that I couldn't risk loosing you like I had lost her. Having the lily didn't feel right anymore, so I took it to her gravesite and placed it there, saying goodbye one last time before I resolved to do whatever I could to get you back."

"Severus..."

"I know this past year has been dark and extraordinarily painful for you. Please know, I never wanted that for you, in fact I was trying to help you avoid it by being the one you were paired with. I can only hope that, in time, you will find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Of course I forgive you. Despite everything that has happened I've only fallen more and more in love with you. No matter what happens from this moment on... I am your wife, and you my husband. I'm with you, always."

The joy in the room was palpable. We turned towards the window as we heard loud cheers coming from below, and looked out to see Voldemort standing in the middle of the courtyard, giving some kind of speech. I squinted at Hagrid, who appeared to be carrying someone in his arms.

"Severus, is that..?"

"Fear not Adelaide, this may be exactly what Potter's supposed to be doing."

Just as those words tumbled from his lips, the motionless figure sprung to life, immediate chaos insuing. At least half of the Death Eaters ran off, loosing faith in their Master as apparently Harry Potter could not be killed. Everything happened so fast, from Voldemort chasing after Harry to Neville beheading Volde orts's giant snake Nagini. We made our way down to the courtyard just in time to witness the final duel between Harry and Voldemort, my breathing hitching as I watched Voldemort's wand fly from his hand, he slowly disintigrating into tiny pieces. The crowds of people around us were slient momentarily before bursting with cheers and whoops. We could hardly believe what we were seeing. He had done it. Harry Potter had defeated Lord Voldemort once and for all!

**_Five Years Later_**

The early morning sun shone through the billowing curtains, hitting me in the eyes. I rolled over, attempting to get a few more minutes of sleep in before I heard the bedroom door creak open.

"Mama? Daddy?"

Severus stirred beside me, giving a low chuckle.

"Don't worry, I've got him."

He rose from the bed, our son racing forward into his arms. I opened my eyes slightly to watch as Severus carried him out, taking him downstairs for breakfast. I sighed happily. Shortly after Harry Potter won the Wizarding War, he had Severus' name completely cleared with the Ministry, and Severus was hailed as a War Hero for his work as a spy. He surprised me by asking me, officially, to marry him, and this time we had a proper ceremony on the Hogwarts Grounds, all of the students and staff in attendance, along with some of the Order, Ministry, and even the Golden Trio. On our honeymoon Severus informed me he had sold his home in Cokeworth, and wanted us to pick out a new place to live... one that was ours, and ours only. I was ecstatic. We remained at Hogwarts over the summer as we searched, finally settling on a beautiful two-story stone cottage not far from Minerva and Fillius's homes. About a year later, I discovered I was pregnant again, feeling both overjoyed and nervous, my mind racing with the memories of what happened last time. Severus was exceptionally soothing, calming me down and reassuring me right up until I gave birth. Luckily I had a completely normal pregnancy, and on June 30th we welcomed a healthy baby boy, whom we named Sapius. Both Severus and I knew it would be hard to raise a family while teaching at Hogwarts, so he got a job at the Ministry teaching post-secondary Potions for those who wished to earn a Mastery, while I stayed at home with our son.

Today was Saturday so Severus had the day off, and he was always quick to help with Sapius. I smiled as I thought about how attentive he was. He had many doubts upon becoming a father (as his own was quite cruel to him and his Mother), but he had more than proven himself, waking up early with him, playing with him in the fields, and even teaching him some easy potions so he could be "just like Daddy". I smelled breakfast and threw on a robe, trotting downstairs to be greeted with a high pitched squeal from Sapius and a kiss from Severus. My little boy ran up to me, his large blue eyes filled with joy as I ruffled his shaggy black hair. We sat at the table, cooing Sapius and discussing our day ahead, feeling content, happy, and settled as we stole a quick glance at each other, knowing that no matter what trials and tribulations may come, we would fight it together, as a family.

All was well.


End file.
